No I am not a mom, nor am I planning on being one in 9 months (sorry mom and mom-in-law and those that have bets regarding such an event).
I'm sure there are plenty of couples in the position of deciding when to start a family or if they even want to, decisions like that. I know I want to start a family, I have no idea when that will happen and there are a few reasons why.
#1) Here is where I throw my husband under the bus. He likes to be prepared for everything in every way, which I love, usually. In this case he wants to be financially ready to have a kid. I know I'm sure those of you that have had children are snickering inside or possibly laughing out and rolling on the floor. I've been told many, many, MANY times that if parents waited to be financially ready there would be no kids. My feelings, yes save and prepare, but don't let that be the whole deciding factor, I do have a biological clock, I can't produce kids the rest of my life. I only have like 15-ish years left. (whoa that's kind of freaky)
#2) There are times when I'm with my nephews and niece and I think, "I can't do this all the time. At this moment I would be done being a mom." And then I would want to leave my kids out on the porch and put a for sale sign next to them. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my nephews and niece. I mean they say and do really cute things sometimes.
#3) Sometimes children in public are screaming and crying and I wonder how I would handle such a situation. I have an idea in my head how I think children should behave and how I would like my children to behave but how do I get there? Each child has a different personality and thus you have to have different discipline tactics. THEN children eventually become teenagers and sometimes I see teenagers and I'm like what if my children do this, that, or the other. Part of my worry here is that I don't consider communication one of my strong points. Confrontation? I would gladly avoid it, but I realize you can't do that with kids cause then they will just walk all over you and do what they want, break all your house rules and there will be a lack of respect for you as a parent and person. I am thankful that I have a husband that is better at communication than I am and I am working on this and I hope I don't screw up my children.
#4) I don't want to screw up my children.
Now there are 4 some what solid reasons. A few others are that I keep signing up for races. People are like, "hey, I'm going to run such n such race, want to do it with me?" and I'm like a starving child being offered a Milky Way candy bar, you don't say no to a Milky Way. I've asked a relative that has been a nurse and married to an OBGYN about running and being prego. She said you can if you feel up to it but probably shouldn't do more than 2-3 miles. From what I hear (from the world of pregnant horror stories) you don't ever feel like it. There is this nausea and lack of energy thing that kicks in, which sounds like an exercise motivation killer. Plus, you have this extra weight there to help throw off your balance. Have I mentioned that even though my name means one of grace I am not very graceful, I mean I broke my foot walking down the stairs backwards, really? Who does that? oh me. I'll probably be the pregnant lady that has gauze wrapped around her knees cause she keeps falling and scraping them every 5 minutes.
Have you guys ever had sushi? I LOVE SUSHI!! And the whole raw fish thing? Yea I've heard it is frowned upon in the pregnant society, something about mercury being in fish then getting to your blood stream and going to your baby. I dunno, but giving that up for 9 months it makes me a little teary just thinking about it.
I realize my last few reasons are on a selfish note but they come into play once in a while. Really I think it all comes down to being a parent scares me. I'm responsible for someone else, other than myself. I mean I feel somewhat responsible for my husband but if I disappeared for a weekend he would be fine (he might not even notice jk). I don't have to call a babysitter, or drop him off at his parent's and leave a detail "How to take care of Trevor" letter. I can just be like, "bye, love you, I'll miss you, see you Sunday night." My husband can take care of himself, he has been doing it for a really long time. But babies! they need 24 hour care, 7 days a week! I've never had a job that is 24/7 other than being my awesome self and that even gets tough sometimes.
Sigh.
Well I don't have to worry about this for at least 7 more months. In June I have Ragnar and a half marathon I pinky promised to do again. This statement will not prevent me from worrying from time to time. Anyway, we'll see what happens after that. Someday, when I do join the preggers crowd I'm sure I write a blog where I totally freak out. I have a feeling there will be a lot of nights where I will be sobbing uncontrollably and my husband will think I've lost a limb and I'll just be like "I can't do this, can we go backsies on this?" and there will probably be other times when I'm like the energizer bunny hopping around like, "I'm gunna be a mom, oh yea, you know it, I've got the belly to show it!" It's going to be crazy. I'm sure my blog posts will be just as bi-polaresque.
Did you have fears about being a mom when pregnant, or fears facing someday having kids?
2 comments:
Here goes my second comment..
You know how much children terrify me. I am scared for many of the same reasons you are and mostly the unknown of kids. I wouldn't know how to handle tantrums in the store either. I don't think that most parents do know until they are parents, then they learn. You'll be a great mom, because you want kids! I think that desire fuels being a great mom. Also you're a great person and I'm sure Trevor is too, so your kids will be awesome. I don't think you'll ever be %100 ready, but I do think that you should both be mentally prepped for starting to try. Then you're aware your life could change a lot in the next year (after getting pregged up).
What a fun post to read, especially from the perspective of being a mother. And with that perspective in mind, I don't think anyone really can prepare for parenthood. Oh, sure, you can save up money, get a good job, nail down someplace to live, make sure the ol' vehicle is in good working order, but... you can be sure that Baby will turn all your plans upside down. And whatever happens, you will find a way through it. We do that, because even when we want to put the little terrors on the porch with a "for sale" sign (hello, Trevor!), we love 'em to bits and we try our hardest to do and be a good mom. It isn't easy, but it's rewarding in ways you can't even begin to see when you start out. And it's reassuring that the journey isn't made alone. Not only do you have your Partner in Crime—I mean your husband!—but you have your family, your friends, your neighbors and, most important of all, your Heavenly Father. You'll find that the little sacrifices you have to make (sushi, running, room for a car seat) aren't that hard, especially when your baby smiles at you, when s/he gives you hugs, or when s/he starts doing and saying the most incredible, ridiculous, adorable things. You and Trevor have so much love and experience and talent and humor (really, really necessary) to share. You will be awesome parents, and your kids will be lucky to have you.
And me? Well, you know I can hardly wait to have another grandchild. I want to be able to enjoy them while I'm still young, so tell Trevor to get out from under the bus now!
LOVE you guys!
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