History Repeated?

You've hear the saying "history repeats itself." If you haven't you must live under a rock or something. But now you have an welcome to the real world. =)

Have you ever thought about living your life over? Sometimes I do. However going back with the knowledge that I have now there are obviously things that I would want to change. However, thinking on it further if certain things about my life were changed then what kind of person would I be? Would I be better? More socially awkward? More out going? Carefree? No one really knows and you could honestly think about this in crazy endless loops.

I think everyone wants to change the things that hurt them. Since they have the knowledge that its going to happen then they can take care of it before they get their emotions involved or time, etc. Just like Bill Murray on Groundhog Day. If you think about all the hurtful things that have happened in your life there are some that you can't change no matter what you do. Death. It's a fact of life. Everything and everyone dies. This type of hurt would be one that you couldn't erase so you could never truly have a hurt free life. Unless, maybe, you lived under a rock but then you might feel the pangs of loneliness... but maybe without ever really having anyone around you wouldn't know what it was like to be around another person so maybe you wouldn't understand loneliness. Anyway back to the point. For me it's hard to imagine what type of person I would be without the things that just plain ol SUCKED in my life. Without them I wouldn't know that I can get through things and come out alive when at the time all I wanted to do was die. I wouldn't have a better understanding of who I am and what I want in life. I think I would still take my life the way it is.. or has been. I've had some pretty crappy experiences but the one that I felt to be the worst of all I am the most grateful for now that I'm on the other side of it and survived it. It really made me be more spoken about what I want and helped me learn to rely on trustworthy others (which is pretty much my God and my family because they were the ones that were truly there for me when I felt I had no one else). And from that I have handled bad times better. When crap happens I think back to that time in my life and realize this new prob is nothing compared to that one. It gives me strength and confidence in myself to carry on.

It's also interesting to see that in your own life, history can repeat itself. I feel like I've had a few second chances with the same situation (almost) but different people. Usually I've blown it the first time so it helps me to do better the next time I realize I have pretty much the same situation on my hands. Obviously everything is not exactly the same and the persons involved do not have the exact same personality or life experiences. I'm grateful for the chances I have to try again basically. I am grateful for the life I have and the trials God has put in front of me only to help me through them. Life is great and you feel yours is not then I hope you can find what will make you truly happy in life and go for it. Goals are awesome. Set them. And reach them. I truly believe you can do anything that you set your mind to you just have to be humble enough to ask for help. Once again life is Awesome! =0)