I'm sort of awful at this blog writing thing these days. It has been 2.5 months of craziness! It has been full of burning the candle at both ends working late at the house, carpooling to work with the hubster, fighting of the feeling of absolute overwhelming-ness and chasing deer out of our yard.
I had a co-worker that told me to expect to see deer on a daily basis, just about. I didn't believe him. Now I do. Almost everyday that we pull up to work on our house there is a deer or 2 or 7. Last night we had 2 bucks and about 5 does. I chased them away from our cheaply protected veggie garden. I don't care if they are in my yard just don't want them eating my veggies... well they have already consumed some of my plants beyond repair. I think I might get cucumbers. Anyway when they originally got into our little netted off garden I cried. I had so much hope and excitement and they ate it all. Lets just say Bambi and I aren't on good terms this year. Our goal is to save money to build a fence that is "deer proof" but that can get expensive so we will see. On a positive note, they cleaned up all our fallen, and no good, apricots.
In our house adventures I have learned I never want to hire another contractor so long as I live. It is not that our contractor was horrible, he was nice, it was the people that he hired that weren't my fav. Because of the way our loan was we didn't have control of the money it was the bank. If I did I would have paid the sub-contractors myself and they could get paid when they did their job right. I am not a professional and it is sad when I can do a job better than someone that gets hired as one. I felt like all we could do was complain to our contractor. Our plumber was the WORST. I think he ended up coming back and fixing almost everything thing that he touched/installed. We are finally near the end. All that is left is fixing a hole in the wall that had to be made for the plumber to fix his mistake. hopefully they can handle doing a good job on fixing the wall. We have moved most of our stuff into the house we are just waiting for a certificate of occupancy from the inspector. It has been a roller coaster to say the least. I am just excited to move in and live there!
Come the 2nd week of August we will have a little furry addition to our family!! We have a female Greater Swiss Mountain dog reserved in a litter that just turned 6 weeks old yesterday! Except for the last 5 years I have had a little furry dog companion in my life. I'm excited to have that again and be sharing it with my husband, who will be a first time dog owner. I am excited and nervous cause it has been 15 years since I have had to handle the puppy stage. Granted my last dog acted like a puppy up until the last few days of her life. There are a lot of things that I want for this dog that I didn't have for other puppies in my life. Crate training will be a new thing, most of my dogs growing up were outside dogs, except when too cold in the winter. However when Abby slept inside I could hear her sneaking around checking out places she wasn't normally allowed. Now that I have my own house I get to get a large dog, like I have always wanted, and it can sleep inside every night. I could go on and on about how excited I am to have her in my life. I also found out there is a chance I may be able to bring her to work with me. I'll have to get another crate for under my desk but I kind of really hope it happens. I will create a presentation to argue why we need dogs readily available for a pet items team to utilize for their products. =)
There are times I am really super grateful to have certain people in my life. I know I should feel this way all the time but you all know how life goes and we take things for granted. I am grateful for my mom. The reason that is sticking out right now... well there are several. First, she is super handy and has helped the hubby and I A LOT when it comes to our remodeling project. Her skills and knowledge have been priceless, well technically she has probably saved us money with her knowledge. I am also very glad that she is willing to spend hours of her time helping us. She has been out at our house almost as much as we have. I honestly don't know how she does all the amazing things that she does. I'm convinced she is super woman and has just kept it secret this whole time. Another reason i am grateful for my mom is that she lets me run my own life, and has for a long time. She taught me right from wrong and let me govern myself. I had rules and I knew that breaking those rules had consequences that never ceased. I'm sure if you ask my siblings I had less rules and got away with more, and that may be true, but I'm going with I was just more angelic (sshh don't tell them). Seriously though, the only things my mom pushed me or nagged me about was cleaning up my room (and after myself) and doing good in school. When she didn't agree with choices I was making in my life she would let me know she was concerned and why and that was it. I will admit now I probably should have listened but I didn't and I learned my lesson. Other than that she just let me do my thing. She never bothered me about when I was going to get married, get a Phd, get a job or have babies. She just accepts that I will get there and do that when it is my time. I LOVE IT! I love my mom. She is the best.
Well that is all for now. =0)
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Friday, May 16, 2014
Reality Check?
Wow! 7 months can fly by quickly. Nutshell update:
Got a new job 7 months ago
Signed for a new house 3 weeks ago
Lost my best friend's mom (so my other mother) 2 weeks ago
5 days ago was my 2nd wedding anniversary.
Been working 8-14 hour days every week day and then (on those 8 hour days) going out to the new house and doing manual labor to get some things improved.
At the end of the month my hubby and I are going to be foster parents to a kitty names Eva
Nutshell update done.
Sitting in the lender's office signing paper after paper after paper made me realize that I am no longer 20. I tend to forget that I keep aging each year. Also, that after 2 years of marriage I still suck at signing my last name.
I love our house. In all of it's need for love glory. We have land and a decent sized house. And I love all the work and would rather do that than my paying job. The thing that I think has been the hardest for me about the house is all the help people offer but don't follow through with. I don't know why it bothers me so much. Probably because for me when I offer help or say I am going to do something I do everything in my power to get it done or anything I need to in order to be there to help and I don't get why other people are like that. I've had tons of people offer their help but only 5 people actually show up and help. What the heck? I know there are some that want to but can't because they have a new house of their own that they have to handle or are dealing with other life crisis things. Shrug another thing in life I don't understand.
I am excited and nervous to be a kitty foster parent. I've never owned a cat personally but I love animals so it should be really interesting.
Well, back to work
Peace out.
Got a new job 7 months ago
Signed for a new house 3 weeks ago
Lost my best friend's mom (so my other mother) 2 weeks ago
5 days ago was my 2nd wedding anniversary.
Been working 8-14 hour days every week day and then (on those 8 hour days) going out to the new house and doing manual labor to get some things improved.
At the end of the month my hubby and I are going to be foster parents to a kitty names Eva
Nutshell update done.
Sitting in the lender's office signing paper after paper after paper made me realize that I am no longer 20. I tend to forget that I keep aging each year. Also, that after 2 years of marriage I still suck at signing my last name.
I love our house. In all of it's need for love glory. We have land and a decent sized house. And I love all the work and would rather do that than my paying job. The thing that I think has been the hardest for me about the house is all the help people offer but don't follow through with. I don't know why it bothers me so much. Probably because for me when I offer help or say I am going to do something I do everything in my power to get it done or anything I need to in order to be there to help and I don't get why other people are like that. I've had tons of people offer their help but only 5 people actually show up and help. What the heck? I know there are some that want to but can't because they have a new house of their own that they have to handle or are dealing with other life crisis things. Shrug another thing in life I don't understand.
I am excited and nervous to be a kitty foster parent. I've never owned a cat personally but I love animals so it should be really interesting.
Well, back to work
Peace out.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
If I had the Strength of a Pioneer! & Buckskin Gulch
Last Sunday my father-in-law invited me to go on a hiking trip with him and some of his family. He was going to leave on Friday and mentioned that since I didn't have a job I already had the time off. I agreed to go wondering if I was crazy. Oh I forgot to mention this hike is about 20 miles.
We left for Kanab, UT to stay the night and start out hike early Saturday morning. We weren't sure if we were going to be able to do our hike with all the government shutdowns and what not. This hike is called Buckskin Gulch and is part of the Escalante National Monument, even though it was seemed it would not work out we decided to meet in Kanab and if it didn't open up then we would hike somewhere around Kanab. Fortunately it opened up and we were able to do the hike (not that there were barricades or anything to stop us).
The hike was BEAUTIFUL! I'll post pictures as soon as I get some from my father in law. The first 13 miles are mostly slot canyons. There are parts that open up and there are little grassy/weedy sand bars. There were muddy puddles that we had to wade through and hope we didn't lose our shoes in the mud. There isn't much elevation change, except when you have to climb rocks. There are some parts that you have to find your way around, over, or under gargantuan boulders. The formations that the canyon walls make are amazing, sometimes they appear to be straight up and down while others times they are wavy and bubbly looking. After the 13 miles you have to wade up river for a little bit and then the trail ends up going from one side of the canyon to the other. Our group kept track and we crossed water 150 times within out 20 mile hike.
It was kind of funny, I could estimate how far we had gone based on the things that started hurting. Since I have done half marathons (13.1 miles) I knew which of my body parts start aching at certain times. About 10 miles my knees started hurting. It's just a little spot on the outside and below the knee cap. They always ache at that point and certainly after the race. Once my knees started hurting I knew we were close to the end of the slot canyons and I ended up being right.
The water was a little chilly and we were burning daylight. The way my feet are built the bottom of my pinky toes tilt in towards my "ring" toe so I often get blisters where they are squished and rubbed by my "ring" toe. I tried to help that with moleskin. With 20/20 hindsight it was pointless to put on moleskin before spending 7 miles walking in and out of water, but it helped for a little bit. Once we crossed the river a ton of times and with the water being the temperature it was my feet were slightly numb so any pain on my feet didn't bother me much. My only problem now was my knees. Both knees hurt but my right one hurt much worse than my left. As we trekked on the sun started setting, my right hip joined the painful club. It hurt to walk on land and it hurt worse to walk through the water. There was nothing I could do, I had already taken all the ibuprofen that is allowed according to the bottle directions. The only relief was to stop and stopping meant the trek would last longer so I forged ahead, bit my lip when it got really bad and held back my tears. I was going to make it through.
I wasn't the only one hobbling along, thankfully, my father in law had some pain in his foot so he needed the pair of hiking poles we had, that I had been using. My aunt (in-law?) was having her lower back tighten up with made it hard for her to lift up her legs. It got to point were I would tell my leg to lift so it could clear this rock that was sticking 2 inches up from the ground and it lifted up only about a 1/2 inch. That was kind of scary only cause I've never had an experience where my body didn't do what my brain was telling it to do.
As the sun disappeared behind the mountains, we were still in good spirits, however they seemed to fade as the sun faded. Once it was dark it seemed to make the trip harder. We couldn't clearly see where we were going and we had to make sure we were staying near the river. Each bend of the river we hoped would reveal the end of our hike. Part of our group went ahead to get the cars. They marked the place were we needed to get off the trail with a flashlight and a glow stick. I have never been so happy to see a glow stick in my life.
I am glad that I did it, and survived it. Will I do it again? I am not sure at this point. I am still healing. Most of my muscles are fine now, I can walk up the stairs like the average human being. My biggest pain now is one of my little pinky toes. I think if I were to do it again, I would go the other way. Start with most of the water wading and finish in the slot canyons. That way I could wear one pair of shows that get supper wet and muddy. Once I got to the convergence I would switch to another pair of shoes and socks so they can be dry for the rest of the hike. Well most of it, we went through water 9 times in the slot canyon and I am sure that number changes with each year.
After this hike I have a whole new appreciation for pioneers. I did a trek when I was in young women's. We had to wear pioneer dresses, aprons, bonnets, and used handcarts to haul our stuff. That was kind of tough. We were out for 3 days and I don't think the total number of miles we went was more than 13. For me I know it wasn't because I got some beastly blisters and they wouldn't let me walk on the hardest longest day. But to go 20 miles in one day I was done and to think they would do that, go to bed, wake up and do it again the next day, some without shoes! Props to the pioneers.
We left for Kanab, UT to stay the night and start out hike early Saturday morning. We weren't sure if we were going to be able to do our hike with all the government shutdowns and what not. This hike is called Buckskin Gulch and is part of the Escalante National Monument, even though it was seemed it would not work out we decided to meet in Kanab and if it didn't open up then we would hike somewhere around Kanab. Fortunately it opened up and we were able to do the hike (not that there were barricades or anything to stop us).
The hike was BEAUTIFUL! I'll post pictures as soon as I get some from my father in law. The first 13 miles are mostly slot canyons. There are parts that open up and there are little grassy/weedy sand bars. There were muddy puddles that we had to wade through and hope we didn't lose our shoes in the mud. There isn't much elevation change, except when you have to climb rocks. There are some parts that you have to find your way around, over, or under gargantuan boulders. The formations that the canyon walls make are amazing, sometimes they appear to be straight up and down while others times they are wavy and bubbly looking. After the 13 miles you have to wade up river for a little bit and then the trail ends up going from one side of the canyon to the other. Our group kept track and we crossed water 150 times within out 20 mile hike.
It was kind of funny, I could estimate how far we had gone based on the things that started hurting. Since I have done half marathons (13.1 miles) I knew which of my body parts start aching at certain times. About 10 miles my knees started hurting. It's just a little spot on the outside and below the knee cap. They always ache at that point and certainly after the race. Once my knees started hurting I knew we were close to the end of the slot canyons and I ended up being right.
The water was a little chilly and we were burning daylight. The way my feet are built the bottom of my pinky toes tilt in towards my "ring" toe so I often get blisters where they are squished and rubbed by my "ring" toe. I tried to help that with moleskin. With 20/20 hindsight it was pointless to put on moleskin before spending 7 miles walking in and out of water, but it helped for a little bit. Once we crossed the river a ton of times and with the water being the temperature it was my feet were slightly numb so any pain on my feet didn't bother me much. My only problem now was my knees. Both knees hurt but my right one hurt much worse than my left. As we trekked on the sun started setting, my right hip joined the painful club. It hurt to walk on land and it hurt worse to walk through the water. There was nothing I could do, I had already taken all the ibuprofen that is allowed according to the bottle directions. The only relief was to stop and stopping meant the trek would last longer so I forged ahead, bit my lip when it got really bad and held back my tears. I was going to make it through.
I wasn't the only one hobbling along, thankfully, my father in law had some pain in his foot so he needed the pair of hiking poles we had, that I had been using. My aunt (in-law?) was having her lower back tighten up with made it hard for her to lift up her legs. It got to point were I would tell my leg to lift so it could clear this rock that was sticking 2 inches up from the ground and it lifted up only about a 1/2 inch. That was kind of scary only cause I've never had an experience where my body didn't do what my brain was telling it to do.
As the sun disappeared behind the mountains, we were still in good spirits, however they seemed to fade as the sun faded. Once it was dark it seemed to make the trip harder. We couldn't clearly see where we were going and we had to make sure we were staying near the river. Each bend of the river we hoped would reveal the end of our hike. Part of our group went ahead to get the cars. They marked the place were we needed to get off the trail with a flashlight and a glow stick. I have never been so happy to see a glow stick in my life.
I am glad that I did it, and survived it. Will I do it again? I am not sure at this point. I am still healing. Most of my muscles are fine now, I can walk up the stairs like the average human being. My biggest pain now is one of my little pinky toes. I think if I were to do it again, I would go the other way. Start with most of the water wading and finish in the slot canyons. That way I could wear one pair of shows that get supper wet and muddy. Once I got to the convergence I would switch to another pair of shoes and socks so they can be dry for the rest of the hike. Well most of it, we went through water 9 times in the slot canyon and I am sure that number changes with each year.
After this hike I have a whole new appreciation for pioneers. I did a trek when I was in young women's. We had to wear pioneer dresses, aprons, bonnets, and used handcarts to haul our stuff. That was kind of tough. We were out for 3 days and I don't think the total number of miles we went was more than 13. For me I know it wasn't because I got some beastly blisters and they wouldn't let me walk on the hardest longest day. But to go 20 miles in one day I was done and to think they would do that, go to bed, wake up and do it again the next day, some without shoes! Props to the pioneers.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
How do you do this?
I'm going on 1 week of being officially unemployed and 10 days being unofficially unemployed. This has nothing to with the whole government shut down thing because my job had absolutely nothing to do with the government. I am a graphic designer, and I was one for a pampering product place. I'm not going to get into details about how it all went down cause that is not what this post is about. This post is about how people survive being unemployed. I don't get it.
The first day I spent crying my eyes out because I was upset and scared. Here I am living at my parents house with my hubby, trying to save some dinero so we can have a place to call our own and I'm jobless (okay not 100% jobless I still work like once a month at a printshop that I have worked at for like 3 years but that's not exactly rolling in the dough & they don't really have a whole lot of work right now to give me more hours).
Day 2 I applied for some jobs and tried to stay productive. Basically all of the days since have followed that pattern. Day 10, I fell like a total bum and I cannot figure out how people do this often or live their lives like this.
When you have kids, an at home business, or have someone that needs constant care, that's something else. That stuff takes a lot of time and attention. I just have me, the house and my thoughts. Some 40 hour per week people may be thinking, "It would be nice to have 10 days off." And I would have completely agreed with them about 10 days ago. Wake up when I want, stay in my pajamas if I felt like it, do whatever I wanted all day. 10 day vacations are apparently my max. I've never had a vacation longer than maybe 5 days since I stepped into the real world of the workforce and graduated from college. I create task lists everyday but as the "vacation" continues I find myself getting more lazy cause if I don't get it done today, well I have all day tomorrow. If it doesn't get done tomorrow then there will be the day after that. I have been fairly productive, probably not as productive as I could be but I have moments where I feel really depressed about being unemployed and I just don't want to do anything but sit around and feel sorry for myself. Other times I'm thoroughly convinced that although this situation sucks, there is a blessing in it somewhere. Maybe the sheer fact that I am out of a job position that I was getting frustrated with is the blessing. I think part of what bothers me is not knowing when this "vacation" will end. Last time I was looking for a graphic design job it took 7 months, granted I had my printshop job full time while I was waiting for that. Right now I just have my once month, and I can't do any freelance because I no longer have the design programs, well unless I want to pull out my old laptop that is like 8 years old and freezes/crashes ever 5-10 minutes. I don't even know if that thing still works. I haven't turned it on in a little over a year. It's a great dust collector.
If you are a person that is home all the time with out a business, kids or person to take care of, what do you do all day? How do you stay sane? I've never thought of myself as a super social person but after only a few days I went to lunch with some of my co-workers and I just loved listening to them talk! And I felt like I talked quite a bit more than I normally do. I miss being around those co-workers everyday. They are awesome. I probably annoy my husband the most. Now that I don't have much human interaction during the day, the moment he gets home I'm all up in his face talking about whatever I can think about, most of it probably doesn't even make sense. If he has to do homework, sometimes I'll just stare at him, waiting for any break he may have. Kind of creepy, this is why I need to find a job stat.
The first day I spent crying my eyes out because I was upset and scared. Here I am living at my parents house with my hubby, trying to save some dinero so we can have a place to call our own and I'm jobless (okay not 100% jobless I still work like once a month at a printshop that I have worked at for like 3 years but that's not exactly rolling in the dough & they don't really have a whole lot of work right now to give me more hours).
Day 2 I applied for some jobs and tried to stay productive. Basically all of the days since have followed that pattern. Day 10, I fell like a total bum and I cannot figure out how people do this often or live their lives like this.
When you have kids, an at home business, or have someone that needs constant care, that's something else. That stuff takes a lot of time and attention. I just have me, the house and my thoughts. Some 40 hour per week people may be thinking, "It would be nice to have 10 days off." And I would have completely agreed with them about 10 days ago. Wake up when I want, stay in my pajamas if I felt like it, do whatever I wanted all day. 10 day vacations are apparently my max. I've never had a vacation longer than maybe 5 days since I stepped into the real world of the workforce and graduated from college. I create task lists everyday but as the "vacation" continues I find myself getting more lazy cause if I don't get it done today, well I have all day tomorrow. If it doesn't get done tomorrow then there will be the day after that. I have been fairly productive, probably not as productive as I could be but I have moments where I feel really depressed about being unemployed and I just don't want to do anything but sit around and feel sorry for myself. Other times I'm thoroughly convinced that although this situation sucks, there is a blessing in it somewhere. Maybe the sheer fact that I am out of a job position that I was getting frustrated with is the blessing. I think part of what bothers me is not knowing when this "vacation" will end. Last time I was looking for a graphic design job it took 7 months, granted I had my printshop job full time while I was waiting for that. Right now I just have my once month, and I can't do any freelance because I no longer have the design programs, well unless I want to pull out my old laptop that is like 8 years old and freezes/crashes ever 5-10 minutes. I don't even know if that thing still works. I haven't turned it on in a little over a year. It's a great dust collector.
If you are a person that is home all the time with out a business, kids or person to take care of, what do you do all day? How do you stay sane? I've never thought of myself as a super social person but after only a few days I went to lunch with some of my co-workers and I just loved listening to them talk! And I felt like I talked quite a bit more than I normally do. I miss being around those co-workers everyday. They are awesome. I probably annoy my husband the most. Now that I don't have much human interaction during the day, the moment he gets home I'm all up in his face talking about whatever I can think about, most of it probably doesn't even make sense. If he has to do homework, sometimes I'll just stare at him, waiting for any break he may have. Kind of creepy, this is why I need to find a job stat.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Fat Girl Stuck in a Skinny Girl Body
I have come to the conclusion that I am a fat girl stuck in a skinny girl's body. Which I realize there are way worse things that I could be. I love food! But on the other hand I really like being in shape looking. In my what feels like my wildest dreams I would look like this:
And then I start planning how I'm going to get there. All determined and stuff then the next thing I know there are people that are like, "hey, want to come to my party, I have cake."
and I'm like, "WHAT?!?!? I LUFF CAKE!" and then I eat it all and everybody else just gets to lick up crumbs or frosting off the plate.
Okay, that situation never really happened. For the record, I do love cake but I would come to your party cause I like you, not just for the cake. The whole getting in shape and looking like a non-steroidal Crossfit queen is a true situation/dream. I've been reading this free ebook I got on Amazon called 'Fit is the New Skinny: The No-BS Truth about Getting Thinner, Leaner, and Stronger' by Michael Matthews. I'm realizing that diet (meaning what you eat) is a HUGE part in looking like the pic above (no, not the cake picture). Granted the book says that, like once per chapter, it's not going to sink in with me until I prove it to myself.
I've been trying to eat better. I started with drinking more water. If you have been there you know you have to pee like every 5 minutes for the first few days and your co-workers start worrying about you a little bit. On my eating better journey I've started using an app to track calories. I'm not in it just to find out calories but it helps me think about the things I am eating. Counting how many M&M's your are downing in one handful gets tedious and makes you want to eat less M&M's, well almost. Really though, this app has helped me and if you are on the same "eat healthier" journey I recommend you get yourself an app for that.
This quote is me and my life (minus that kids part). I'm going to say being a creative mind sometimes gets in the way of the way I want my life to be. I have super awesome, on the ball, eat like a champ days and I love them. Then there are those days where jumping out of bed is all the effort I can muster but then I still have to get ready for work and do that whole adult responsibility thing. On those good days (that sometimes last a week) I am on it, I have dinners all planned out, food all bought for said dinners, I go to the gym, work it, and life is good. But it is usually followed by a day, or even a week, of what are we going to have for dinner, what am I going to do at the gym (which usually results in a not so satisfying workout), I don't want to run, etc. It seriously feels like my brain just got tired from being on top of things and forgets how to function in Awesome Mode. How do you overcome your brain fighting against you when it runs everything in your body? I haven't figured it out. That is why my workouts are still coupled with eating a Hostess Cupcake or two... or five. But I must be getting better because I am feeling changes in my body. My arms aren't quite as flabby, my running has become better (even though less frequent), and I can do more at the gym (when I am in Awesome Mode).
Sugar is my archenemy, will I ever conquer it? I don't know, but I certainly have gotten better at resisting it's temptations. I want to make it clear that I don't think I am fat and I know I don't look fat. I'm just skinny fat, meaning inside I just don't feel as healthy as I use to and that is why I am trying to make some changes before I wake up one morning and realize my only option in life is to be sumo wrestler. I've gotten to that point in life that adults always warned me about, you know where they say, "eat all that crap while you can, someday it will actually stick to your bones." There are a million different versions of that saying, but you get the idea. I can't just eat whatever and expect it to just slide through my system. It is a little depressing but it's life and most people have to deal with it at some point.
I hope to get better and being in Awesome Mode more often than not cause I'm sure consistency is a big factor. My mind and body can only be as strong as I give it fuel to be. I'm guessing 5 Hostess Cupcakes aren't the right kind of fuel. Sigh. Baby steps and maybe I'll get there someday, for now, just trying to what I can to keep my sanity.
Okay, that situation never really happened. For the record, I do love cake but I would come to your party cause I like you, not just for the cake. The whole getting in shape and looking like a non-steroidal Crossfit queen is a true situation/dream. I've been reading this free ebook I got on Amazon called 'Fit is the New Skinny: The No-BS Truth about Getting Thinner, Leaner, and Stronger' by Michael Matthews. I'm realizing that diet (meaning what you eat) is a HUGE part in looking like the pic above (no, not the cake picture). Granted the book says that, like once per chapter, it's not going to sink in with me until I prove it to myself.
I've been trying to eat better. I started with drinking more water. If you have been there you know you have to pee like every 5 minutes for the first few days and your co-workers start worrying about you a little bit. On my eating better journey I've started using an app to track calories. I'm not in it just to find out calories but it helps me think about the things I am eating. Counting how many M&M's your are downing in one handful gets tedious and makes you want to eat less M&M's, well almost. Really though, this app has helped me and if you are on the same "eat healthier" journey I recommend you get yourself an app for that.
This quote is me and my life (minus that kids part). I'm going to say being a creative mind sometimes gets in the way of the way I want my life to be. I have super awesome, on the ball, eat like a champ days and I love them. Then there are those days where jumping out of bed is all the effort I can muster but then I still have to get ready for work and do that whole adult responsibility thing. On those good days (that sometimes last a week) I am on it, I have dinners all planned out, food all bought for said dinners, I go to the gym, work it, and life is good. But it is usually followed by a day, or even a week, of what are we going to have for dinner, what am I going to do at the gym (which usually results in a not so satisfying workout), I don't want to run, etc. It seriously feels like my brain just got tired from being on top of things and forgets how to function in Awesome Mode. How do you overcome your brain fighting against you when it runs everything in your body? I haven't figured it out. That is why my workouts are still coupled with eating a Hostess Cupcake or two... or five. But I must be getting better because I am feeling changes in my body. My arms aren't quite as flabby, my running has become better (even though less frequent), and I can do more at the gym (when I am in Awesome Mode).
Sugar is my archenemy, will I ever conquer it? I don't know, but I certainly have gotten better at resisting it's temptations. I want to make it clear that I don't think I am fat and I know I don't look fat. I'm just skinny fat, meaning inside I just don't feel as healthy as I use to and that is why I am trying to make some changes before I wake up one morning and realize my only option in life is to be sumo wrestler. I've gotten to that point in life that adults always warned me about, you know where they say, "eat all that crap while you can, someday it will actually stick to your bones." There are a million different versions of that saying, but you get the idea. I can't just eat whatever and expect it to just slide through my system. It is a little depressing but it's life and most people have to deal with it at some point.
I hope to get better and being in Awesome Mode more often than not cause I'm sure consistency is a big factor. My mind and body can only be as strong as I give it fuel to be. I'm guessing 5 Hostess Cupcakes aren't the right kind of fuel. Sigh. Baby steps and maybe I'll get there someday, for now, just trying to what I can to keep my sanity.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Good Morning Ideas.
Sometimes in the morning I have really good ideas. Or what I think are good ideas then later in the day I wonder how I thought it was a good idea.
Example:
This morning I cracked open a can of tuna mixed it with some mayo and added some salt free lemon pepper. Then I decided that instead of slathering it onto bread and making an actual sandwich I was just going to put it in a Tupperware container and take 2 pieces of bread and then I could just scoop it out with my bread and/or crackers.
Now I'm sitting at my desk, the bread isn't scooping like I thought it would. There are crumbs EVERYWHERE. I'm fighting them off my computer keyboard. Why was this a good idea?
On the bright side, I am getting more protein in my diet by eat a whole can of tuna and some grain servings with my bread that is unadulterated with gobs of mayo that I always feel the need to put on a tuna sandwich. Yay!
What are some good ideas that you have had that did not turn out so brilliant in the end.
Example:
This morning I cracked open a can of tuna mixed it with some mayo and added some salt free lemon pepper. Then I decided that instead of slathering it onto bread and making an actual sandwich I was just going to put it in a Tupperware container and take 2 pieces of bread and then I could just scoop it out with my bread and/or crackers.
Now I'm sitting at my desk, the bread isn't scooping like I thought it would. There are crumbs EVERYWHERE. I'm fighting them off my computer keyboard. Why was this a good idea?
On the bright side, I am getting more protein in my diet by eat a whole can of tuna and some grain servings with my bread that is unadulterated with gobs of mayo that I always feel the need to put on a tuna sandwich. Yay!
What are some good ideas that you have had that did not turn out so brilliant in the end.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Mom Status
No I am not a mom, nor am I planning on being one in 9 months (sorry mom and mom-in-law and those that have bets regarding such an event).
I'm sure there are plenty of couples in the position of deciding when to start a family or if they even want to, decisions like that. I know I want to start a family, I have no idea when that will happen and there are a few reasons why.
#1) Here is where I throw my husband under the bus. He likes to be prepared for everything in every way, which I love, usually. In this case he wants to be financially ready to have a kid. I know I'm sure those of you that have had children are snickering inside or possibly laughing out and rolling on the floor. I've been told many, many, MANY times that if parents waited to be financially ready there would be no kids. My feelings, yes save and prepare, but don't let that be the whole deciding factor, I do have a biological clock, I can't produce kids the rest of my life. I only have like 15-ish years left. (whoa that's kind of freaky)
#2) There are times when I'm with my nephews and niece and I think, "I can't do this all the time. At this moment I would be done being a mom." And then I would want to leave my kids out on the porch and put a for sale sign next to them. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my nephews and niece. I mean they say and do really cute things sometimes.
#3) Sometimes children in public are screaming and crying and I wonder how I would handle such a situation. I have an idea in my head how I think children should behave and how I would like my children to behave but how do I get there? Each child has a different personality and thus you have to have different discipline tactics. THEN children eventually become teenagers and sometimes I see teenagers and I'm like what if my children do this, that, or the other. Part of my worry here is that I don't consider communication one of my strong points. Confrontation? I would gladly avoid it, but I realize you can't do that with kids cause then they will just walk all over you and do what they want, break all your house rules and there will be a lack of respect for you as a parent and person. I am thankful that I have a husband that is better at communication than I am and I am working on this and I hope I don't screw up my children.
#4) I don't want to screw up my children.
Now there are 4 some what solid reasons. A few others are that I keep signing up for races. People are like, "hey, I'm going to run such n such race, want to do it with me?" and I'm like a starving child being offered a Milky Way candy bar, you don't say no to a Milky Way. I've asked a relative that has been a nurse and married to an OBGYN about running and being prego. She said you can if you feel up to it but probably shouldn't do more than 2-3 miles. From what I hear (from the world of pregnant horror stories) you don't ever feel like it. There is this nausea and lack of energy thing that kicks in, which sounds like an exercise motivation killer. Plus, you have this extra weight there to help throw off your balance. Have I mentioned that even though my name means one of grace I am not very graceful, I mean I broke my foot walking down the stairs backwards, really? Who does that? oh me. I'll probably be the pregnant lady that has gauze wrapped around her knees cause she keeps falling and scraping them every 5 minutes.
Have you guys ever had sushi? I LOVE SUSHI!! And the whole raw fish thing? Yea I've heard it is frowned upon in the pregnant society, something about mercury being in fish then getting to your blood stream and going to your baby. I dunno, but giving that up for 9 months it makes me a little teary just thinking about it.
I realize my last few reasons are on a selfish note but they come into play once in a while. Really I think it all comes down to being a parent scares me. I'm responsible for someone else, other than myself. I mean I feel somewhat responsible for my husband but if I disappeared for a weekend he would be fine (he might not even notice jk). I don't have to call a babysitter, or drop him off at his parent's and leave a detail "How to take care of Trevor" letter. I can just be like, "bye, love you, I'll miss you, see you Sunday night." My husband can take care of himself, he has been doing it for a really long time. But babies! they need 24 hour care, 7 days a week! I've never had a job that is 24/7 other than being my awesome self and that even gets tough sometimes.
Sigh.
Well I don't have to worry about this for at least 7 more months. In June I have Ragnar and a half marathon I pinky promised to do again. This statement will not prevent me from worrying from time to time. Anyway, we'll see what happens after that. Someday, when I do join the preggers crowd I'm sure I write a blog where I totally freak out. I have a feeling there will be a lot of nights where I will be sobbing uncontrollably and my husband will think I've lost a limb and I'll just be like "I can't do this, can we go backsies on this?" and there will probably be other times when I'm like the energizer bunny hopping around like, "I'm gunna be a mom, oh yea, you know it, I've got the belly to show it!" It's going to be crazy. I'm sure my blog posts will be just as bi-polaresque.
Did you have fears about being a mom when pregnant, or fears facing someday having kids?
I'm sure there are plenty of couples in the position of deciding when to start a family or if they even want to, decisions like that. I know I want to start a family, I have no idea when that will happen and there are a few reasons why.
#1) Here is where I throw my husband under the bus. He likes to be prepared for everything in every way, which I love, usually. In this case he wants to be financially ready to have a kid. I know I'm sure those of you that have had children are snickering inside or possibly laughing out and rolling on the floor. I've been told many, many, MANY times that if parents waited to be financially ready there would be no kids. My feelings, yes save and prepare, but don't let that be the whole deciding factor, I do have a biological clock, I can't produce kids the rest of my life. I only have like 15-ish years left. (whoa that's kind of freaky)
#2) There are times when I'm with my nephews and niece and I think, "I can't do this all the time. At this moment I would be done being a mom." And then I would want to leave my kids out on the porch and put a for sale sign next to them. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my nephews and niece. I mean they say and do really cute things sometimes.
#3) Sometimes children in public are screaming and crying and I wonder how I would handle such a situation. I have an idea in my head how I think children should behave and how I would like my children to behave but how do I get there? Each child has a different personality and thus you have to have different discipline tactics. THEN children eventually become teenagers and sometimes I see teenagers and I'm like what if my children do this, that, or the other. Part of my worry here is that I don't consider communication one of my strong points. Confrontation? I would gladly avoid it, but I realize you can't do that with kids cause then they will just walk all over you and do what they want, break all your house rules and there will be a lack of respect for you as a parent and person. I am thankful that I have a husband that is better at communication than I am and I am working on this and I hope I don't screw up my children.
#4) I don't want to screw up my children.
Now there are 4 some what solid reasons. A few others are that I keep signing up for races. People are like, "hey, I'm going to run such n such race, want to do it with me?" and I'm like a starving child being offered a Milky Way candy bar, you don't say no to a Milky Way. I've asked a relative that has been a nurse and married to an OBGYN about running and being prego. She said you can if you feel up to it but probably shouldn't do more than 2-3 miles. From what I hear (from the world of pregnant horror stories) you don't ever feel like it. There is this nausea and lack of energy thing that kicks in, which sounds like an exercise motivation killer. Plus, you have this extra weight there to help throw off your balance. Have I mentioned that even though my name means one of grace I am not very graceful, I mean I broke my foot walking down the stairs backwards, really? Who does that? oh me. I'll probably be the pregnant lady that has gauze wrapped around her knees cause she keeps falling and scraping them every 5 minutes.
Have you guys ever had sushi? I LOVE SUSHI!! And the whole raw fish thing? Yea I've heard it is frowned upon in the pregnant society, something about mercury being in fish then getting to your blood stream and going to your baby. I dunno, but giving that up for 9 months it makes me a little teary just thinking about it.
I realize my last few reasons are on a selfish note but they come into play once in a while. Really I think it all comes down to being a parent scares me. I'm responsible for someone else, other than myself. I mean I feel somewhat responsible for my husband but if I disappeared for a weekend he would be fine (he might not even notice jk). I don't have to call a babysitter, or drop him off at his parent's and leave a detail "How to take care of Trevor" letter. I can just be like, "bye, love you, I'll miss you, see you Sunday night." My husband can take care of himself, he has been doing it for a really long time. But babies! they need 24 hour care, 7 days a week! I've never had a job that is 24/7 other than being my awesome self and that even gets tough sometimes.
Sigh.
Well I don't have to worry about this for at least 7 more months. In June I have Ragnar and a half marathon I pinky promised to do again. This statement will not prevent me from worrying from time to time. Anyway, we'll see what happens after that. Someday, when I do join the preggers crowd I'm sure I write a blog where I totally freak out. I have a feeling there will be a lot of nights where I will be sobbing uncontrollably and my husband will think I've lost a limb and I'll just be like "I can't do this, can we go backsies on this?" and there will probably be other times when I'm like the energizer bunny hopping around like, "I'm gunna be a mom, oh yea, you know it, I've got the belly to show it!" It's going to be crazy. I'm sure my blog posts will be just as bi-polaresque.
Did you have fears about being a mom when pregnant, or fears facing someday having kids?
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