It will Always be Mine.

Yesterday I dipped my toes in the pool for the first time since last August. If you have ever been away from your home for more than a week, you know that moment when you get home you are glad you left but you are so excited to be back? That is what that moment felt like for me. Sitting on the edge of the pool putting on my swim cap and goggles with the smell of chlorine in the air. I love the smell of chlorine. If there were a car air freshener that smelled like it, I would probably use it. That chlorine smell brings back so many great memories that I wouldn't trade for anything. I played water polo all through high school and was on the swim team my senior year. Somehow I went from hating swim lessons (the one year I remember taking them as a child) and sticking my face in the water to being a swimmer. I think I learned the basics of swimming and I was done with swim lessons. I could swim enough to keep my head above water if needed. I didn't like to put my face in the water and never managed to grow out of that. I was the girl that couldn't jump in the pool without plugging her nose which also meant diving didn't happen cause I looked funny plugging my nose and trying to dive. However, in high school I had some friends that were on the swim team and they convince me to play water polo. I probably looked so silly trying to do any stroke other than freestyle but I learned to love that game, regardless of my previous dislike for having my face submerged in water and fear of drowning. 

If you have no idea what water polo is here is a good video to check out:

She uses some different words than I would but "The Pitch" is the playing area or "field" so to speak. The "Sin Bin" is the ejection box. And I think when she says that is it similar to football she means soccer. 

Another good video for it would be this one:

While swimming I thought about my swimmer and water polo player life and I came to the conclusion that it was probably the best decision I made for myself. I have always been a shy person with very little confidence. Playing water polo and swimming helped that a lot. There were days (sometimes twice a day) that I really felt like I couldn't swim another lap or do another pop up (a pop up is when you are treading water and then pop up as high as you can out of the water and no touching the bottom because that is not allowed in water polo. Also, coaches expected you to be about to get at least was it high out of the water). Through swimming and water polo I realized I could accomplish hard things. I always managed to swim that next lap and the next set after that one. Probably the most terrifying day was when my coach put me in as goalie in the middle of a game. Up until that point I don't think I had spent much time in the cage (the goal), maybe 5 minutes max. After that game I was the new team goalie. I felt so inadequate to be in such a position, the last stand of defense a team has against another team. Practices became harder because I had to work my legs, treading while holding a weighted medicine ball above my head and trying to keep my shoulders out of the water while doing so. It was tough but eventually my team started calling me The Wall. I came across this article (I think I already shared it on facebook) and in reading it over all I could think was, that is so true! I think swimming is great and on my team we had the super popular kids and geeks alike. I feel like it is a sport for everyone not just the "jocks". Based on my own personal experience I know that it helps build confidence and can change people for the better. 

5 Things you will take away from Swimming

1. You’re part of an amazing community. We are separated by a few degrees of separation. It’s a big, open fraternity, but even better as we all have the shared background of two-a-days and countless weekends in poorly ventilated pools. This community extends far beyond the pool, as you will see in the years to come.

Even ten years removed from competitive swimming I can go to a local meet and find a few familiar faces in coaches, and the younger siblings of friends and people I’d raced against. Even some of the officials remain, having stuck with the sport even long after their own kids had moved on. The next generation and the longevity of those who have no commitment to the sport outside of their love for it, and this is a testament to the bond we grow with this sport.

2. Exercise and Fitness will never intimidate you. This is something you probably already know. You’ve gone through your share of Hell Weeks, and New Years Day 10×1000’s to not bat an eye at any physical challenge. Swimmers have ridiculous cardiovascular fitness, and as such when athletes from other sports complained about their workouts the gripes typically fall on deaf ears.

3. That discipline and mental toughness you honed as a swimmer will serve you well. You will enjoy not having to get up at 4:30am for morning practice long after you leave the arena of competitive swimming. This I can promise you. But the discipline that got you up that early will always be within you, ready to be seized upon when you find something else you are passionate about.

4. ‘What if’ Syndrome will pop up when the Olympics roll around. I get this to the point I can barely enjoy watching swimming events that used to be my forte. Thoughts like “If my shoulder hadn’t crapped out…” bubble to the surface. Avoid this passing sense of regret by leaving everything at the pool so that you aren’t watching the Olympics ten years later wondering if you could get into good enough shape to swim in Rio in 2016. Regardless of the expectations you have for your swimming career, whether it’s going to the Olympics, getting a scholarship to your local college team, or just making this summer’s traveling squad, embrace the opportunities for travel, competition and camaraderie that swimming provides.

5. The pool will always be home. You will always be a swimmer. People play basketball, playfootball or hockey, but you are a swimmer. It’s a sport that most people don’t understand or appreciate until the Olympics roll around, and that’s fine. Let them have their sports, for swimming will always be profoundly ours.

It will belong to the age-groupers struggling to get that first cut. To the teenagers trying to get noticed by a university program. To the athletes competing at the Olympics just happy to be there. From age grouper to World Record holder the sport all belongs to us, and while we may throw a “every other sport gets all the attention” tantrum in once in a while, in a lot of ways we should be happy with our place on the sporting totem pole.

To this day swimming still feels “mine,” as impossible of a feeling that may come across as. The quietness of the pool, the stillness of an empty lane, the quiet stare of that black line, will always be mine. Yours. Ours.

(from: http://swimswam.com/5-things-you-will-take-away-from-swimming/)

Made it to the State Swim Meet, my team is on the far left

Yea I thought I was really cool. 

And just so you know the name on my swim cap is "Anna-mal"

And She was Running

This weekend I survived the Ragnar Trail Relay in Zions. Some of you may remember that about 6 months ago I did the same thing, sort of (if you don't you can read it here). This time it was the real deal, the first Ragnar Trail Relay! Thankfully Mother Nature was on our side this time. The sun was shining in a clear blue sky. It was windy when we first got there but it died down once the sun set. Our start time was at 1pm, I thought it was great weather for some running. I was runner #5 so my first run didn't start until about 5pm. I started on the yellow trail, on this trail there is about a mile of what feels like straight up hill. Not to mention that it was also sandy. It was like running on a beach while trying to run uphill. My 2nd run started about shortly after 11 pm. Running in the night in the middle of nowhere with only a headlamp is not my favorite thing but I survived. And my final run was about 9 am, 7.5 miles, it was a rough 7.5 miles. I felt good that morning, after some sleep, and started off running that red trail once I started hitting some decent incline my legs felt like they might give out. Speed walking became my friend.

On my 7.5 mile run/speed walk I had a lot of time to think and I thought about the "running community". About 90% of the people that passed me along any other the trails would always say something encouraging. Things like, "looking good" or "keep it up!" Whenever there was someone that was moving particularly slow, seemed to be struggling or were stopped all together they probably got asked a million times if they were okay. I know I asked everyone that I passed. It's like we take care of each other! It's nice, it gives me hope in humanity. It's not just at race time this happens. I am in a running club and the same thing happens there. Runners take care of other runners and cheer others on to keep them going. In my mind I like to think that runners don't just apply this to other runners but other people they come across everyday.

I love running, I'm no pro but I feel like I am a champ after doing 15.5 miles within 20 hours time. That is the farthest distance I have ever run and probably some of the hardest miles I have fought through. Trail running is a whole different beast from pavement and treadmill, which adds to how awesome I feel for accomplishing what I did. Since I have now done 15.5 hard miles I have toyed with the idea of doing a full marathon (26.2 miles for those that don't know). Only 10.7 more miles and that would be a marathon. I don't know, I'm not sure I'm that crazy, so far I'm only half crazy. I'm going to think about this marathon things some more and I will definitely write about it and probably the blood, sweat and tears that go into something of that magnitude!

I'm like a Mom

Only I have no children...

I don't even have pets that I claim as children...

I've had several friends tell me I am like the mom of the group. I take care of everyone and make sure that they have everything that they need.

To some they may think, "awe that's so sweet of you." My thoughts are, it's not bad but sometimes it feels like a curse. For example, in preparing for a road trip I went snack shopping. Staring at the shelf of snacks I wonder how much is going to be enough? There will be 4 of us on a 11-ish hour trip (depending on who is driving). I start putting things in my basket (had to get a basket because I knew it would help limit the number of things I bought), usually starting with a smaller package then thinking, "well what if everyone wants some then I need enough for 4 people to snack on." Trading the smaller bag for a bigger bag, I wonder if maybe this is too much, yet it stays in my basket. We'll need sweet, salty, chewy, crunchy and everything in between to make sure every one has anything they could possibly crave! Making my way to the checkout stand my basket full and a box of crackers in my hand because it wouldn't fit. On my way home I started thinking about all the stuff that I bought... this is too much. There are 4 of us not a family of 10, I think I bought enough for 10. Not to mention that the other 2 people traveling with my hubby and I are adults and capable of buying their own snacks, they don't need me to buy them for them like they are children. Thinking about it now I laugh and my husband laughed when he saw everything I bought. BUT we will definitely not go hungry, even if we get stranded for a week we would probably still have a sufficient amount of food on which we could survive.

This "mom factor" that goes on in my brain I always over plan things. If I have a get together I usually have too much food because I stress about running out of it and people not having enough to eat. Not to mention while people are over I want to make sure everyone is having fun and enjoying themselves. I have gotten better, I can actually enjoy a party now rather then spend the whole party time stressing about everyone else. There are still times when I can't seem to control it, road trip snacks is obviously one of those times, maybe next road trip I will do better.

Flossing February

March is here. I can't believe it. Last month, after a visit to the dentist, I decided to set a goal to floss my teeth everyday for the month of February and so I called it Flossing February. I even made myself a calendar with cute toothy letters on it so that I would have something to put stickers on for each successful flossing. My chart has maybe 8 stickers on it. I didn't do very well but I did better than I have in the past. I probably doubled the number of times I have personally flossed my teeth in my lifetime. Okay that's a lie, but I know I have never flossed my teeth 8 times in one month. Flossing is such a struggle for me... well proper flossing. In my mouth I have 2 permanent retainers, one on the bottom and one on top. In order to properly floss those suckers I have to get a "plastic needle"(that is made for such things), thread my floss through and stab it between my teeth. That is a little dramatic but my bottom teeth have gotten accustom to it my 2 big front teeth have not. It hurts and I don't like it and so some times I just don't do that part and just floss like I floss all my other teeth. Another thing I have is a fake tooth held in place by a titanium screw. It doesn't make flossing difficult but the gap towards the bottom of that tooth and the two beside it is larger than the others. It is amazing the things that can hide in there. Anyway Flossing February was a flop in the sense that I didn't floss every single day BUT It was an improvement which I am content with.

On another note, I was looking through my journal looking for the first movie my hubby and I went to see together (before we were even a thing, I mean his little sister came along). Once I found the info I was looking for (we went to go see Blindside fyi) I just kept reading. Next thing I know I am crying. I got to the part when we broke up for the first time and I felt so sad. Then I'm sitting there on our bed crying and I'm thinking why am I crying I know how this all ends, victory is mine in the end of this dating story. Maybe I should avoid reading my journal because whenever I do the emotions that were there when I wrote it always get stirred up inside all over again. After I finally put it away I just wanted to hold my hubby and tell him that I love him and grateful for where we are and all that we have overcome thus far in our lives together. I'll wait til he gets home =)

I'm Dying

Okay I'm not really dying but I am going on day 14 of being sick. For someone, like myself, that is a healthy person 14 days is TOO LONG. I feel like I have been sick forever and I am so sick of being sick! I miss working out and RUNNING! Oh my goodness do I miss running right now. Really, I probably could go running but the thought of snot flying out my nose does no appeal to me at all. During my sickness there have been times that I have started feeling better so I would try exercising and the next day I would feel worse. I didn't do anything major. One day I did just some squats and push ups, stuff like that. Another day I did some walking on the treadmill. It was so hard just to walk, I wanted to run but I stuck with 4 mph on the treadmill with an incline. I've read somewhere that exercise can be good to help bust a cold but you have to find that perfect balance between not enough and too much. I guess I did too much... but I felt like I did nothing in comparison to other, healthy days.

 I originally blamed stress from work for this horrid sickness but the last few days haven't been super crazy for me so it must be something else. Did I mention this is the second time this year that I have been sick? Last time I had a temperature of 101 the day before I was suppose to start my new job. My fever broke just before I left for work the next day but the first week was full of me being sick. Now, only 30 days later, I'm sick again.

Anything that you read online about being sick with common cold symptoms says that if it lasts for more than 10 days see a doctor. I called my doc and he is booked until Thursday! I still made my appointment. I don't know why I feel so disappointed about having to wait 3 days. It's not like my doctor has a miracle drug that will cure me in 24 hours so whats another 3 days waiting I guess. Honestly, I dislike going to see the doctor. I looked at Web MD, even though my hubby says I should never self diagnose unless it is a last resort. I could have sinusitis. Whatever it is, it just needs to go away. My sister-in-law just had a baby so I would really like to go see my new nephew but I probably shouldn't while I am sick. It's a total bummer. I am trying to do all that I can to get better, trying to get to sleep early, taking vitamin C, trying to eat healthier than I normally do but so far no long lasting luck.

Anyone have any great "cold buster" ideas?

Dejunking, Procrastination & Planning

Dejunking, Procrastination, and Planning....  One of these words has me written all over it. I'm sure you can guess which one.  =)

Today I set out to commence the dejunking of my office/craft/weight bench room in preparation of our upcoming move. I made it through one sack that had 3 items in it. Of those things 2 got put "away" and one is still out awaiting a destination. Whoo one thing down. The next victim is a typical white, plastic bag. Within its crinkly shell a "someday" project. DUM DUM DUUUUUMMM! It was suppose to be done by Christmas so our little tree would have a cute lil skirt. And next thing I know I'm working on it. This is how my dejunking projects usually go. I make a little head way then I run into a project I've been meaning to do and decide to do it right then because in my mind it shouldn't take that long.

As I pull all the fabric out, yay it is already cut, all I need to do is assemble it! But all I remember from the Pinterest post that sparked the project is a hot glue gun is used to attach material in a ruffly manner onto a circle shape. I shrugged and decided that it shouldn't be that difficult and sort of dive in. That's probably why I have never really been good at sewing. I don't always like the planning and precision part that has to go into a well done sewing project. I'm more of a lets-just-go-for-it-and-figure-it-out-as-I-go, usually. Anyway I did decide to sort of pin it onto my white fabric base before pulling out the hot glue gun. After doing one row I decided to use a basting stitch to make my ruffles and then glue them on.

This is what I ended up with. Not bad but it needs some more layers. I have no idea what I was thinking when I bought the material. Maybe I was planning on buying some other colors and never got around to it. So, next Christmas season I'll have to go buy some more cute material to finish it off. 

Lessons learned (that I will probably forget and have to relearn)

1- Do not procrastinate projects

2- If some unforeseen circumstances comes up and #1 cannot be done then I need to put the instructions and thoughts on the project in with the supplies for said craft. 

3-If #1 & 2 don't happen, think out the project all over again and make sure you have enough supplies to finish the project.

4- If none the above happen or I can't afford the extra supplies that a project may require maybe it is best to just throw the project away. 

Even though it is not finish, and Christmas was so 2 months ago, I still love my lil tree skirt and I wish I would have just taken the time to finish it for Christmas when my trail of thought on the project was fresh. Well I'm back to dejunking, after I clean up my current project mess =)

It's just the way I am?

I think I have faced the fact that I will never be the type of person that I want to be. I've always wished to be super outgoing and just love being around people. You know those people that seem to know someone everywhere you go. They are people, people and they always seem to be bubble and happy no matter what. Yea I've dreamed of being that type of person, I've tried to fake it (I mean not fake caring about people but being happy all the time). When that bubbly, self confidence (or whatever it is) isn't something that comes naturally to you it gets REALLY tiring. I think a lot of people that are like that just are so sure of them selves and have loads of confidence and they just don't care what other people think, which is pretty awesome.

I'm not entirely sure what people think about me. Well I know what some people think because they are closer to me or have known me for a while but those that maybe haven't actually met me or have only met me once (or for some older ladies in my ward, they have met me several times but just don't seem to remember lol). My guess is I may come off like a snob or something, especially if there isn't someone I know around. Just for the record I'm not snobby, I'm just really shy and I have a hard time around new people. And you know why? Because I care way too much about what people think. I wish I didn't but I can't seem to get it to go away. I have come a long way compared to my younger years. I remember in first grade I wouldn't even look people in the eye. I just looked at the ground when talking and stuff. I LOVED my first grade teacher and I still wouldn't look at her. Shoot, I sometimes wouldn't even look at my family and talking to strangers? Na-uh not happening unless my parents made me. At least that is what I remember. If I was any different I don't remember it.

Through the years I have tried to be better and braver. There was one girl I went to school with and I think she was more shy than I was (if you could believe that) and she didn't seem to really have any friends, she was practically like a baby deer. If she was approached she would practically freeze (deer in the headlights). I decided I didn't want to be like that all my life so I would try to get out of my comfort zone. I started taking piano and dance, because of those things I found myself in front of people performing. Eventually I tried out for the sophomore cheer group ( I never tried out for Jr high cause we voted for our cheerleaders which I thought was dumb) and I ran for SBO in high school even though I kinda figured I wouldn't win because other than the waterpolo team no one really knew who I was. But hey I made it past the primaries! Whoot Whoot.

I am a pretty big goofball and I think I'm actually pretty fun when I let it out but it doesn't come out that much in public because, like I said before, I find myself caring too much about what other people think. Today I just feel like giving up on ever being that bubbly, fun person all the time and just being a hermit for life, well a hermit within myself cause I do actually leave my house (if I didn't I would go out of my mind). I go through phases where I find myself caring less about what others think but I never seem to get completely over it. And I really just feel like I am whining today and I don't really care cause I'm really not in that great of a mood, although I'm trying to change my attitude. If anyone has any suggestions on how to get over what people think of you I would be interested.

Thanks for reading. Have a marvelous Monday.