About 2 months ago my work moved to a new building. I have a new Ikea "cubicle" (more like an Ikea desk with 24" partitions covered in cloth... not like any cubicle I have ever had). When I got hired I was told that the company would be moving. Therefore, I never decorated my desk. I never thought about it simply because I didn't want to take everything down and then put all back up. Well, 6 months later we finally moved. Now that we have moved I know I need to decorate my desk. However, I have been putting it off and putting it off. Why? Why would someone want to look at a speckled black, empty wall? Well I feel like there is a lot of pressure to have freakin' sweet looking decor for my cubicle. Why the pressure? Because I am a graphic designer, I can't have crappy looking stuff at my desk. That might reflect on the way that people view me as a designer. In addition to the pressure I feel that there is a lack of time. While I am at work there isn't much that I can do about it. I can't flip through pictures on my computer to find ones I want to print out. None of my pictures are on my work laptop. Once I am home...it is out of sight, out of mind. Really the story of my life. I'll get to work the next day and think, "BLAST! I should have thrown some things together. Ah MAN!"
I have hit a bit of a slow time at work so I finally looked through some pictures for ideas and organization ideas via Pinterest (cause that's basically the new Google for DIY, craftiness). I've found a cubicle idea that I like and I'm going with it. I just need to find a piece of paper that is the size of my wall and doodle up a cool drawing.
Well when I get around to getting it all put together I will take a pic and show you what my little brain and hands came up with. Don't hold your breath, it may take me a while because I have to brush up on my drawing skills.
Has anyone else experienced cubicle decor pressure?
I am a graphic designer, for those that don't know. Today while on some graphic design adventures on the web, I found this awesome history of printing, basically. If all history lessons were designed like this one I probably would have paid more attention. Maybe even science and math would have been more interesting to me.
Click image to open interactive version (via Printer Inks).
And if you are a big traveller take a look at this
I survived my race. And it ended up being my best half marathon ever. Thanks for your prayers and karma. I also made a shirt that helped me during those times that I felt like stopping.
Karen Sue was basically my 2nd mom during what feels like most my life. I think it was a little over a year ago that she was told that she has ALS (or Lou Gehrig's disease). Basically when you have this your body shuts down little by little. One day they may wake up and suddenly have lost the use of an arm or hand. I feel that the influence she has had in my life and seeing her smile despite all that she is going through truly inspires me to do better with the time and, well, everything that I have.
A general life update:
Work is currently crazy. I'm not allowed to work a single minute of overtime yet the last few weeks I feel have too much to do that it can't possibly get done in 40 hours. Some how I have managed. Well one week I did a lot of work at home, unpaid, then it turned out everything was wrong and I ended up doing it over again anyways, so lesson learned no more work at home, staying up til 2:30 in the morning only to find out it was pointless. I also feel that there is a communication problem at my work (and I'm really not one to talk since communication is on my weaknesses and I'm trying to do better). It gets really frustrating especially when it's the week before a big event and everyone has a billion and one things to do. If we could all read minds it would be easier but we don't and that's when it gets frustrating.
Church. One thing you never would think would get hectic or stressful cause it's church. I've been proven otherwise. I am in charge of teaching a group of young women that are ages 16-18 (they are called Laurels). I teach every Sunday but the first one of the month. I've taught YW's (young women's) before but it was a once a month sort of deal. This every week feels crazy to me. I manage to get it done. I think I've gotten better since I started. And its good for me cause I am still learning things. I mean I know the basics, I've been taught them since I was born but now I have to really study, and make sure I truly understand so that I can answer any questions that they have. The girls I teach are really smart, I feel like they are smarter than I ever was at that age. It makes me wish that I had served a mission. The people (like my husband)that have served missions can throw together a good message/lesson within a matter of minutes. However they spent 18-24 months of studying the scriptures and I have never been all that great at really studying. Now I have that opportunity and it freaks me out. In addition to teaching and preparing each week I have also been asked to be on out activities committee for the ladies of my ward. Which so far isn't that stressful, I've only had to design and invitation which is... well that's what I do I'm a designer and I have printing connections so the other ladies think I am the greatest thing next to sliced bread. Okay that could be that one of them has been my neighbor for my whole life and she just loves me regardless of how comparable I am to bread of the sliced variety.
Everything else. Well all else seems to be well. I've been watching Dr. Who with the husband and I'm addicted (I even added a Dr. Who shirt to my Amazon wish list). I've been trying to read more but between planning lessons, making dinner, exercising, playing water polo, and being addicted to Dr. Who (which is also time I spend with my hubby) I don't have much time. Usually I read when I'm in bed waiting to fall asleep and I only get about a page and half further into the story before my eyes start drooping. I have to set time aside to read and when I do I often feel guilty cause I know there are things of greater importance (like having clean underwear for tomorrow, etc.) that I should be doing. Being an adult and taking care of adult responsibilities really makes me wish that I were a kid again. But then I couldn't drive and be done with school. Being an adult has it's perks, I mean I get to have ice cream for dinner whenever I want.
In 12 hours I will be at my friend's house and we will be heading to the start of our half marathon (after picking up 2 other running friends). You may be looking at your clock, mine says 2:49 pm on Friday June 14. Yes, I will be up at 2 AM getting ready for a race. My stomach is already getting antsy. Although I have done half marathons before, this one feels different. Why? Well I haven't been able to shake my shin splints. They will feel better then come back with a vengeance. I have contemplated not going to the race at all but part of me can't handle that thought of not even trying. I haven't done much running this week just to let my shins rest. Other than this week I have put in a lot of work, and consumed more ibuprofen then normal for me. I'm nervous my shins will rebel before I can finish the race. Also, I never get up at 2 am so I'm not sure how my body is going to handle that disruption in it's schedule. I'm worried and I felt like posting it here. In 12 hours I will be on my way, I will be pumped and thinking positive thoughts. I'll have my new race shirt I made (I'll post pics later). I'm pretty sure I'll be okay. But if you believe in God, say a prayer for me. If you believe in Karma send some good vibes my way, I can't seem to shake this nervousness.
While at work, designing away, I frequently listen to my Pandora "Seventy-Six Trombones" station. On this particular occasion the song "Matchmaker", from Fiddler on the Roof, started playing. At the beginning of the song one of the sisters says something like, young people can't be expected to make such a decision on their own. I laughed aloud. I started thinking about my own life and making that decision on my own, as most young people do these days.
This thought process led to, what if there were still village matchmakers that helped your parents pick out who you were going to marry? I started thinking about the people that lived in the neighborhood where I grew up. I would probably be married to someone in that neighborhood.. or maybe a son of an old friend of one of my parents. Thinking about the boys in my neighborhood, I mean they were pretty cool, most of them. Some of them I had a hard time with for one reason or another but the general population of the neighborhood thought they were super great boys. Weird, weird thought.
On the one hand I would have been saved from some of the heartbreaking dating experiences I had but because of those experiences I feel that I am a stronger, better person. What kind of person would I be without those experiences? I don't know, I don't think I want to know....Well I kind of do. I wouldn't mind having a peek into an alternate universe where I had an arrange marriage, see what I was like. I would also like to take a peek into the alternate universe where Mitt Romney won the last Presidential election just to see where America would be now. Anyway. Just some food for thought from my mind today.
What? This topic again? I'm sure you're sick of hearing or reading about it but it is basically the only hobby of mine, for the time being.
Last Saturday I had a 10k race that I signed up for however it conflicted with my longer run in preparation for my half marathon I have in about 10 days. I decided to run 5 miles before the race and then the 6.2 miles of the race to get my 11 miles in for the day. I almost missed the last bus to the start line because I took my first 5 miles rather easy. One of my friends that was a volunteer for the race told me that she expected to see me in first place. I told her not to get her hopes up because I had already put in 5 miles for the day but that I would still try but not to get her hopes up.
Along the race path I'm pretty sure I saw Jerry Sloan (former Utah Jazz coach) walking his cute little dog. Or maybe it was just little compared to him. I did not make it past the finish line first but 13th. Whenever people passed me part of my mind would be like, "oh no you don't"! But another part is like, "um it's either pick up the pace just to pass them or finish, they have fresh legs you don't". I would contemplate it and then maintain the pace that I was going, an average of 9:30 per mile which is pretty fast for me.
My music choice for this race "shuffle". I don't have a huge variety of music on my iPod. A few workout mixes (each like 30 mins long), Brian Regan (stand up comedy), The Beatles & Les Miserables. I normally listen to Pandora but decided not to that day. What a little roller coaster. I would go from Les Miserables, passion with the urge to cry, to Brian Regan, laughing along the way. It was kind of funny but both helped me make it through the last little up hill bit of my race.
After the race my husband made the comment that I don't seem to bat an eye at 11 miles or half marathons anymore. I thought about it and they don't intimidate me anymore cause I know I can do them one way or another I'll get there. And I think part of it is from swimming, as I talked about here. But also after doing the Ragnar Trail Relay running on normal roads feels like a cake walk.. er run, even with shin splint issues. Ya running. I think I will always love it.
Yesterday I dipped my toes in the pool for the first time since last August. If you have ever been away from your home for more than a week, you know that moment when you get home you are glad you left but you are so excited to be back? That is what that moment felt like for me. Sitting on the edge of the pool putting on my swim cap and goggles with the smell of chlorine in the air. I love the smell of chlorine. If there were a car air freshener that smelled like it, I would probably use it. That chlorine smell brings back so many great memories that I wouldn't trade for anything. I played water polo all through high school and was on the swim team my senior year. Somehow I went from hating swim lessons (the one year I remember taking them as a child) and sticking my face in the water to being a swimmer. I think I learned the basics of swimming and I was done with swim lessons. I could swim enough to keep my head above water if needed. I didn't like to put my face in the water and never managed to grow out of that. I was the girl that couldn't jump in the pool without plugging her nose which also meant diving didn't happen cause I looked funny plugging my nose and trying to dive. However, in high school I had some friends that were on the swim team and they convince me to play water polo. I probably looked so silly trying to do any stroke other than freestyle but I learned to love that game, regardless of my previous dislike for having my face submerged in water and fear of drowning.
If you have no idea what water polo is here is a good video to check out:
She uses some different words than I would but "The Pitch" is the playing area or "field" so to speak. The "Sin Bin" is the ejection box. And I think when she says that is it similar to football she means soccer.
Another good video for it would be this one:
While swimming I thought about my swimmer and water polo player life and I came to the conclusion that it was probably the best decision I made for myself. I have always been a shy person with very little confidence. Playing water polo and swimming helped that a lot. There were days (sometimes twice a day) that I really felt like I couldn't swim another lap or do another pop up (a pop up is when you are treading water and then pop up as high as you can out of the water and no touching the bottom because that is not allowed in water polo. Also, coaches expected you to be about to get at least was it high out of the water). Through swimming and water polo I realized I could accomplish hard things. I always managed to swim that next lap and the next set after that one. Probably the most terrifying day was when my coach put me in as goalie in the middle of a game. Up until that point I don't think I had spent much time in the cage (the goal), maybe 5 minutes max. After that game I was the new team goalie. I felt so inadequate to be in such a position, the last stand of defense a team has against another team. Practices became harder because I had to work my legs, treading while holding a weighted medicine ball above my head and trying to keep my shoulders out of the water while doing so. It was tough but eventually my team started calling me The Wall. I came across this article (I think I already shared it on facebook) and in reading it over all I could think was, that is so true! I think swimming is great and on my team we had the super popular kids and geeks alike. I feel like it is a sport for everyone not just the "jocks". Based on my own personal experience I know that it helps build confidence and can change people for the better.
5 Things you will take away from Swimming
1. You’re part of an amazing community. We are separated by a few degrees of separation. It’s a big, open fraternity, but even better as we all have the shared background of two-a-days and countless weekends in poorly ventilated pools. This community extends far beyond the pool, as you will see in the years to come.
Even ten years removed from competitive swimming I can go to a local meet and find a few familiar faces in coaches, and the younger siblings of friends and people I’d raced against. Even some of the officials remain, having stuck with the sport even long after their own kids had moved on. The next generation and the longevity of those who have no commitment to the sport outside of their love for it, and this is a testament to the bond we grow with this sport.
2. Exercise and Fitness will never intimidate you. This is something you probably already know. You’ve gone through your share of Hell Weeks, and New Years Day 10×1000’s to not bat an eye at any physical challenge. Swimmers have ridiculous cardiovascular fitness, and as such when athletes from other sports complained about their workouts the gripes typically fall on deaf ears.
3. That discipline and mental toughness you honed as a swimmer will serve you well. You will enjoy not having to get up at 4:30am for morning practice long after you leave the arena of competitive swimming. This I can promise you. But the discipline that got you up that early will always be within you, ready to be seized upon when you find something else you are passionate about.
4. ‘What if’ Syndrome will pop up when the Olympics roll around. I get this to the point I can barely enjoy watching swimming events that used to be my forte. Thoughts like “If my shoulder hadn’t crapped out…” bubble to the surface. Avoid this passing sense of regret by leaving everything at the pool so that you aren’t watching the Olympics ten years later wondering if you could get into good enough shape to swim in Rio in 2016. Regardless of the expectations you have for your swimming career, whether it’s going to the Olympics, getting a scholarship to your local college team, or just making this summer’s traveling squad, embrace the opportunities for travel, competition and camaraderie that swimming provides.
5. The pool will always be home. You will always be a swimmer. People play basketball, playfootball or hockey, but you are a swimmer. It’s a sport that most people don’t understand or appreciate until the Olympics roll around, and that’s fine. Let them have their sports, for swimming will always be profoundly ours.
It will belong to the age-groupers struggling to get that first cut. To the teenagers trying to get noticed by a university program. To the athletes competing at the Olympics just happy to be there. From age grouper to World Record holder the sport all belongs to us, and while we may throw a “every other sport gets all the attention” tantrum in once in a while, in a lot of ways we should be happy with our place on the sporting totem pole.
To this day swimming still feels “mine,” as impossible of a feeling that may come across as. The quietness of the pool, the stillness of an empty lane, the quiet stare of that black line, will always be mine. Yours. Ours.
