I've been unemployed for 7 business days. It doesn't really seem long, I know. There are people that have been that way for 70 business days. There is something about being unemployed totally unexpectedly at a time when you feel like money was getting a little tight in the first place and having a house and car payments. I guess I should be thankful that there are no kids in the picture at this time. I was still stressed about it. The last time I was unexpectedly without a job the hubby and I were living with my parent's saving up for a house. I didn't have a car payment or a house payment. I was worried that I would never get another graphic designer job because who gets fired from their first big job in their career field and still has a career? Well I did. I survived. I probably turned in a billion applications a day and within about 2 weeks I had a new job.
Fast forward to the last 7 business days. The day after I was laid off (a Friday) I sent out 4 resumes. Friends from my last job suggested to take a week off, decompress and then start looking. I didn't see how I could relax with bills taking money out an no money coming in? Monday I turned in 3-4 more resumes, replied to an email from a potential job to set up an interview. Tuesday had an interview. Thursday went to my family reunion in a place with no cell service. Sunday I came home to an email with a job offer.
I am most grateful to the Lord up above for looking out for me. I know that He gives me only what I can handle. I feel like He gives me more than I deserve sometimes. I still have about 2 weeks until I start my new job, which gives me time to catch up on some things so that is kind of nice. It is comforting knowing that there is a light at the end of my unemployment tunnel, and that it isn't a train to smoosh me.
Thankful for my family who unknowingly helped take my mind off of the stress of being jobless and not really being able to do anything about it while at the family reunion. I really do have the best extended family. They are supportive, they are hilarious and they just love no matter what! I couldn't ask for a better bunch to call my tribe. I love them to pieces!!
Yay for new jobs and moving forward. I continue to pray for my friends that are still on the job search, I hope that they can find something that will be a fit for them. Again, I am so grateful for the Lord up above that looks out for me and for my family that loves and supports me.
Monday, July 18, 2016
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
The Gym
I joined a gym. I've lived many years without a gym. Running on my own and doing some crossfit type things and just general body weight exercises. What pushed me to join up again?
Recently I went to a dog show in Idaho. I signed up for the National Owner Handler Seeies (NOHS) and recieved Best of Breed for Owner Handler. This meant I got to go into what is called the Working Group for Owner Handler. Scary for me, but it's just a dog show. Anyway I was in the ring doing my thing with supporters on the "sidelines". Afterwards one of my friends showed me a video she has taken and here I was suppose to be looking at how my dog was moving. All my eyes could see was how big my butt looked. I was like wow, that has really gotten out of hand...
It was obvious that I have been doing more netflixing than running and consumed more soda than salads. I decided to look more seriously into the fitness reimbursement that I have available through my work. Thus I signed up for a gym membership.
I did some searching online and asked for opinions from friends. I finally went into my gym of choice and they had me fill out some info on an iPad while I was waiting to speak to a health something or other. When the health something or other approached me, he was basically a Ken Barbie doll. I followed him around the gym and he showed me stuff and talked to me about fitness and nutrition and tried to get me to sign up for a personal trainer. I'll say he isn't my fav because it was like salesman Ken Barbie and made it seem like I wasn't going to reach goals without paying over $100/month for a personal trainer. Anyway I stuck to my guns (gangly as they may be) and said no I want to try and do it myself.
Day one at the gym, on my own. I have a workout picked out from a site I follow. I walk in and start out with some treadmill jogging. I'm in my faded hot pink shorts (faded cause I've had them for like 10 years) and a bright blue top and I feel like I fit right it with the cardio people. Then it came time for weights. I headed to the area that I like to call testosterone zone. I pick my weights and my spot and just get started. I look around and notice that I stand out a lot. I guess the unofficial dress code for the secret weight lifting club is black, white, gray and red. It seemed I was the obvious newbie. Other than my attire I am sure there were other things that screamed newbie. Anyway, I survived and I don't mind the gym much. Maybe I like people watching. I probably make a lot of weird faces at the gym. I mean I'm watching a girl bust out pull ups like its no big deal but it is because I can't even do one. I mean I tried today and after a few seconds of trying to tell my arm and other muscles what to do I just start laughing. I also kept laughing in the traeadmill and the guy next to me kept looking at me, I was laughing at a texts from a friend but for all he knew I was just a crazy lady on the treadmill. I also do not get in machines or use equipment until I see someone else use it. This is how I avoid accidentally trying to use the painter scaffolding incorrectly (if you dont get it, check out Brian Regan-Health club)
The gym is going to be fun 🙂
Recently I went to a dog show in Idaho. I signed up for the National Owner Handler Seeies (NOHS) and recieved Best of Breed for Owner Handler. This meant I got to go into what is called the Working Group for Owner Handler. Scary for me, but it's just a dog show. Anyway I was in the ring doing my thing with supporters on the "sidelines". Afterwards one of my friends showed me a video she has taken and here I was suppose to be looking at how my dog was moving. All my eyes could see was how big my butt looked. I was like wow, that has really gotten out of hand...
It was obvious that I have been doing more netflixing than running and consumed more soda than salads. I decided to look more seriously into the fitness reimbursement that I have available through my work. Thus I signed up for a gym membership.
I did some searching online and asked for opinions from friends. I finally went into my gym of choice and they had me fill out some info on an iPad while I was waiting to speak to a health something or other. When the health something or other approached me, he was basically a Ken Barbie doll. I followed him around the gym and he showed me stuff and talked to me about fitness and nutrition and tried to get me to sign up for a personal trainer. I'll say he isn't my fav because it was like salesman Ken Barbie and made it seem like I wasn't going to reach goals without paying over $100/month for a personal trainer. Anyway I stuck to my guns (gangly as they may be) and said no I want to try and do it myself.
Day one at the gym, on my own. I have a workout picked out from a site I follow. I walk in and start out with some treadmill jogging. I'm in my faded hot pink shorts (faded cause I've had them for like 10 years) and a bright blue top and I feel like I fit right it with the cardio people. Then it came time for weights. I headed to the area that I like to call testosterone zone. I pick my weights and my spot and just get started. I look around and notice that I stand out a lot. I guess the unofficial dress code for the secret weight lifting club is black, white, gray and red. It seemed I was the obvious newbie. Other than my attire I am sure there were other things that screamed newbie. Anyway, I survived and I don't mind the gym much. Maybe I like people watching. I probably make a lot of weird faces at the gym. I mean I'm watching a girl bust out pull ups like its no big deal but it is because I can't even do one. I mean I tried today and after a few seconds of trying to tell my arm and other muscles what to do I just start laughing. I also kept laughing in the traeadmill and the guy next to me kept looking at me, I was laughing at a texts from a friend but for all he knew I was just a crazy lady on the treadmill. I also do not get in machines or use equipment until I see someone else use it. This is how I avoid accidentally trying to use the painter scaffolding incorrectly (if you dont get it, check out Brian Regan-Health club)
The gym is going to be fun 🙂
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Your Favorite Jeans
There comes a morning in your life when you go to put on your favorite pair of jeans and they no longer fit. It is a day that you want to just sit down in you closet and cry because you don't have a good reason for your pants to not fit like pregnancy or losing weight. Your only reason is that you are getting fat... or bigger, if you are a half full type of person. There is not time for sitting in your closet and crying because you still have to adult and go to work and live life. Although without a good cry you just feel miserable all day and then you end up getting a soda and sugar cookie even though in the back of your brain you realize that this isn't helping the situation... really this is just adding to the problem.
Since turning 20 I don't think I've ever gotten rid of a pair of jeans because they no longer fit. It has always been because I've worn the crap out of them. Currently I have 7 pairs of jeans in my closet. Only one of them fits. I basically have no pants because I'm not okay with wearing the same pair of jeans everyday of the week. The fact that I have 3 pairs of jeans in a "no fit" pile because I feel like a potato shoved into jeans (thanks Jewel) when I put them on. The button may burst off and squash someone's eyeball and I'm just not willing to be responsible for someone losing an eye.
Adulting is hard. I'm not even 30 yet and I already feel the effects of what people say happens at 30, the whole slowing metabolism. But this is my life now. I've been trying to workout and have done so at least 3 days a week. I think my desk job is killing me. I'm a graphic designer and spend 8-ish hours at a desk everyday. I wish I could do my job with a treadmill desk but I don't think I could design and walk at the same time. Lunch breaks I typically throw on my gym clothes and lift some weights, do squats and crossfit stuff. I don't hit it everyday but I try not to go longer than 3 days without doing something active.
If any fitness gurus read this they are probably thinking well its only 20% about what you do in the gym and 80% about what you eat. Well I've been doing better. Okay minus my 24 oz soda and giant sugar cookie binge yesterday. But really Easter candy is my weakness. I typically go through a large bag of Mini Eggs every week and I lose track of the number of peeps I eat. I know, I know you either love or hate peeps but even if you hate them we can still be friends. You hate peeps and I hate peas, we can all still be friends as long as you don't try to shove peas down my throat, I won't shove peeps down your throat. So far I've only bought 2 things of peeps and I didn't even finish the half of one of the packages (it was flavored and gross). I have not bought a single bag of Mini Eggs, and that my friends is a miracle.
Okay so some other people may be like hush your face you aren't even fat, you're only a size 10 and I'm like a 20 so just Shut your pie hole... okay I don't really like pie so cake hole. But really any lady that suddenly has to shop for a size bigger anything is like really? this sucks and I just want to wallow in self pity. So this is my wallowing in self pity and just trying to move on with life. This is my life, I sit at a desk for 8 hours spend 20-45 minutes in the work gym at least 3x a week, I'm eating better... like actually eating veggies (it is hard, sugar is better but whatevs), and I'm still splitting my jeans. So that is cool.
I just want to blame work for ruining my life (sedentary and stressful) but I know that I can't. I am thinking of an exit strategy for the common workplace. I'm probably still a years or so away from that but we will see. Can I just stay at home and be a dog mom but still get paid? ...sigh, and that is the end of self pity blog post.
Since turning 20 I don't think I've ever gotten rid of a pair of jeans because they no longer fit. It has always been because I've worn the crap out of them. Currently I have 7 pairs of jeans in my closet. Only one of them fits. I basically have no pants because I'm not okay with wearing the same pair of jeans everyday of the week. The fact that I have 3 pairs of jeans in a "no fit" pile because I feel like a potato shoved into jeans (thanks Jewel) when I put them on. The button may burst off and squash someone's eyeball and I'm just not willing to be responsible for someone losing an eye.
Adulting is hard. I'm not even 30 yet and I already feel the effects of what people say happens at 30, the whole slowing metabolism. But this is my life now. I've been trying to workout and have done so at least 3 days a week. I think my desk job is killing me. I'm a graphic designer and spend 8-ish hours at a desk everyday. I wish I could do my job with a treadmill desk but I don't think I could design and walk at the same time. Lunch breaks I typically throw on my gym clothes and lift some weights, do squats and crossfit stuff. I don't hit it everyday but I try not to go longer than 3 days without doing something active.
If any fitness gurus read this they are probably thinking well its only 20% about what you do in the gym and 80% about what you eat. Well I've been doing better. Okay minus my 24 oz soda and giant sugar cookie binge yesterday. But really Easter candy is my weakness. I typically go through a large bag of Mini Eggs every week and I lose track of the number of peeps I eat. I know, I know you either love or hate peeps but even if you hate them we can still be friends. You hate peeps and I hate peas, we can all still be friends as long as you don't try to shove peas down my throat, I won't shove peeps down your throat. So far I've only bought 2 things of peeps and I didn't even finish the half of one of the packages (it was flavored and gross). I have not bought a single bag of Mini Eggs, and that my friends is a miracle.
Okay so some other people may be like hush your face you aren't even fat, you're only a size 10 and I'm like a 20 so just Shut your pie hole... okay I don't really like pie so cake hole. But really any lady that suddenly has to shop for a size bigger anything is like really? this sucks and I just want to wallow in self pity. So this is my wallowing in self pity and just trying to move on with life. This is my life, I sit at a desk for 8 hours spend 20-45 minutes in the work gym at least 3x a week, I'm eating better... like actually eating veggies (it is hard, sugar is better but whatevs), and I'm still splitting my jeans. So that is cool.
I just want to blame work for ruining my life (sedentary and stressful) but I know that I can't. I am thinking of an exit strategy for the common workplace. I'm probably still a years or so away from that but we will see. Can I just stay at home and be a dog mom but still get paid? ...sigh, and that is the end of self pity blog post.
Saturday, October 17, 2015
What now?
I'm sure everyone reaches that point in there life where they wonder, "What now?"
There is also a point where, usually as a teen "that knows everything" that you had a plan for life. As far as I can remember here was my plan.
1- Graduate high school (check)
2- Go to college (check)
3- Get married in the temple (check)
4- Graduate college (check)
5- Get a job using your degree (check)
6- Get a house (check)
My 5-10 yr plan for my life from high school has basically be fulfilled. No it didn't happen exactly as I planned it, in the order I planned it but what really ever goes according to plans?
I got another email saying it was my "last chance" to purchase my pictures from college graduation. I look at them every time, even though I have no intention of buying them. Today I noticed that in the 3.5 yrs since graduation I've gained weight. In fact I can tell you that I have probably gained 30lbs since that picture was taken. Just a realization that kicks you in the gut. It made me reflect on my last 3.5 years of life. What have I really done? And what do I do now that I have reached all my goals?
Set new goals you say? I kind of feel like Charlie Eppes from the show Numbers when he is faced with writing a letter to whoever takes the big fancy office after he does. He realizes he doesn't really know what he wants in life and thus finds it harder to write this letter. If I don't know what I want how am I suppose to set new goals?
I think part of me fears new goals because that means I have to accomplish something and that I might fail along the way. In fact I feel like I have failed at almost every goal that I have tried to set the last few years. It is like I have lost my goal setting skills. I use to have them, they existed... I'm not sure where they went. Maybe they dwindled with my passions in life. I use to love life and everything about it.Oh, my passions? What were my passions? Waterpolo, swimming, dance, running, going out with friends, feeling like I had the world at my fingertips, designing things...
but wait... aren't you a graphic designer? Why yes, yes I am, but the dirty truth they don't tell you in college is that not every graphic design job is treated equally. There are jobs that are titled graphic designer but really you are just a production artist... basically a production artist is almost like a CNA of the design world, appreciated because they clean up all the poop, etc that those above them don't want to. I got moved to a new position in my company that I thought would provide more creative opportunities but, alas, I was wrong at least so far. Creativity isn't just a thing, it is more like a muscle. If not used it will shrivel. I feel like my creativity muscle is becoming severely atrophied. I'm not ready to give up on my job just yet so I've been looking for other, personal projects to get back into constant "creative juices flowing" status.
In design school I felt like a creative genius all the time. I was the bomb! I feel like getting my creativity "back" will help with other things in life. I'm sure creativity, or lack thereof, isn't the only prob. I am slowly trying to identify what seems to me holding me back and tackle those things. This takes patience. My brilliant, lovely mother will be the first to tell you it is not my biggest virtue.
I need to get back to my goal setting ways. I just have to. I also have to realize that I am no longer 16 or 17 when I could easily do 25 military push ups without batting and eye and 500 yards of swimming was only the warm up. I am no longer 168lbs of mostly muscle from swimming 3-5 hours 5-6 days a week. I am now 168lbs of what feels like half muscle and half fat. I can no longer get away with only 4-5 hours of sleep each night and just be a normal human being. I need like 7-9 or I'm kind of raunchy. I can no longer just up and run a 10k with 0 preparation this 28 yr old body needs a month for that... probably.
I do have a lot of things, that I am truly grateful for. I have an awesome family. I have a great mom that I have decided knows how to do everything and is willing to help me even when it is me being a baby because I can't seem to get my crap together to organize my office. I have good genes. Ex: I look about 10 yrs younger than I am... at least to people older than me, I don't think the teens are fooled. Also, I don't get sick very often *knock on wood*. I can run. I can swim... well I'm pretty sure I can. I am able to laugh at myself (and I do more than I probably should... great I'm going toe that person that laughs at their own jokes, all alone lol). I am most grateful for my fantabulous husband that puts up with me and eats whatever I cook no matter how crazy it gets. He cracks me up and can always make me smile when I am blue. Sometimes I wish I had a brain as logical as his, but then I wouldn't really be me and all the whimsicalness that entails. I am just glad he found me and I found him and that we can be weird together =)
So here's to whatever my "what now?" mind journey finds me. Here is to creativity and new adventures that I happen upon. I hope I can restart the passion for life that I once had, and if my old loves don't hold the same allure for me that they once did, then I hope I can find whatever they will be replaced by.
Go team!
There is also a point where, usually as a teen "that knows everything" that you had a plan for life. As far as I can remember here was my plan.
1- Graduate high school (check)
2- Go to college (check)
3- Get married in the temple (check)
4- Graduate college (check)
5- Get a job using your degree (check)
6- Get a house (check)
My 5-10 yr plan for my life from high school has basically be fulfilled. No it didn't happen exactly as I planned it, in the order I planned it but what really ever goes according to plans?
I got another email saying it was my "last chance" to purchase my pictures from college graduation. I look at them every time, even though I have no intention of buying them. Today I noticed that in the 3.5 yrs since graduation I've gained weight. In fact I can tell you that I have probably gained 30lbs since that picture was taken. Just a realization that kicks you in the gut. It made me reflect on my last 3.5 years of life. What have I really done? And what do I do now that I have reached all my goals?
Set new goals you say? I kind of feel like Charlie Eppes from the show Numbers when he is faced with writing a letter to whoever takes the big fancy office after he does. He realizes he doesn't really know what he wants in life and thus finds it harder to write this letter. If I don't know what I want how am I suppose to set new goals?
I think part of me fears new goals because that means I have to accomplish something and that I might fail along the way. In fact I feel like I have failed at almost every goal that I have tried to set the last few years. It is like I have lost my goal setting skills. I use to have them, they existed... I'm not sure where they went. Maybe they dwindled with my passions in life. I use to love life and everything about it.Oh, my passions? What were my passions? Waterpolo, swimming, dance, running, going out with friends, feeling like I had the world at my fingertips, designing things...
but wait... aren't you a graphic designer? Why yes, yes I am, but the dirty truth they don't tell you in college is that not every graphic design job is treated equally. There are jobs that are titled graphic designer but really you are just a production artist... basically a production artist is almost like a CNA of the design world, appreciated because they clean up all the poop, etc that those above them don't want to. I got moved to a new position in my company that I thought would provide more creative opportunities but, alas, I was wrong at least so far. Creativity isn't just a thing, it is more like a muscle. If not used it will shrivel. I feel like my creativity muscle is becoming severely atrophied. I'm not ready to give up on my job just yet so I've been looking for other, personal projects to get back into constant "creative juices flowing" status.
In design school I felt like a creative genius all the time. I was the bomb! I feel like getting my creativity "back" will help with other things in life. I'm sure creativity, or lack thereof, isn't the only prob. I am slowly trying to identify what seems to me holding me back and tackle those things. This takes patience. My brilliant, lovely mother will be the first to tell you it is not my biggest virtue.
I need to get back to my goal setting ways. I just have to. I also have to realize that I am no longer 16 or 17 when I could easily do 25 military push ups without batting and eye and 500 yards of swimming was only the warm up. I am no longer 168lbs of mostly muscle from swimming 3-5 hours 5-6 days a week. I am now 168lbs of what feels like half muscle and half fat. I can no longer get away with only 4-5 hours of sleep each night and just be a normal human being. I need like 7-9 or I'm kind of raunchy. I can no longer just up and run a 10k with 0 preparation this 28 yr old body needs a month for that... probably.
I do have a lot of things, that I am truly grateful for. I have an awesome family. I have a great mom that I have decided knows how to do everything and is willing to help me even when it is me being a baby because I can't seem to get my crap together to organize my office. I have good genes. Ex: I look about 10 yrs younger than I am... at least to people older than me, I don't think the teens are fooled. Also, I don't get sick very often *knock on wood*. I can run. I can swim... well I'm pretty sure I can. I am able to laugh at myself (and I do more than I probably should... great I'm going toe that person that laughs at their own jokes, all alone lol). I am most grateful for my fantabulous husband that puts up with me and eats whatever I cook no matter how crazy it gets. He cracks me up and can always make me smile when I am blue. Sometimes I wish I had a brain as logical as his, but then I wouldn't really be me and all the whimsicalness that entails. I am just glad he found me and I found him and that we can be weird together =)
So here's to whatever my "what now?" mind journey finds me. Here is to creativity and new adventures that I happen upon. I hope I can restart the passion for life that I once had, and if my old loves don't hold the same allure for me that they once did, then I hope I can find whatever they will be replaced by.
Go team!
Thursday, February 26, 2015
I'm addicted to Racing
I signed up for another half marathon. This will be my 4th...I think(read about my first one here).
I love races. Training isn't always my favorite, it does take time and energy, all of which I feel like I have little of already. I can't think of a race that I have turned down in the last 3 years because I didn't want to. If I do turn down a race, it is because I am lacking funds or I am already on another team for said race.
Races are awesome, running is great (even though sometimes I forget that I love it) and people's reaction to the fact that you are running a half marathon is great, for the most part. I think part of why I love races so much is....well several reason's actually.
1) the "herd" of like minded racers at the start line all doing their pre-race rituals. Everyone has their thing they have to have or do to really feel like they are starting a race. My race M.O. is a banana and PB with some stretching. There is just a buzz of excited energy. There is usually music pumping, people talking and some dancing. It is just awesome to be a part of it all.
2) Running with a bunch of people. It is just fun. People cheer you on along the way. If you stop for any reason, other than at a water station, about 20 people will ask you if you are okay
3) The signs people hold up to encourage runners. My favorite, to date, "Don't poop your pants." If you aren't a runner you may not really find the humor in it.
Races are awesome.
I am lucky to have a husband and parents that support me in my running habits/addictions. When taking on anything new or doing something so "crazy" it is so nice to have support and people to cheer you on. Having running buddies has always helped too, whether they are ones you actually run with or just talk about running with. I'm grateful that the people closest to me don't roll their eyes and my dreams and goals or talk to me with a voice of doubt in my abilities.
Big thanks to my support team!
I love races. Training isn't always my favorite, it does take time and energy, all of which I feel like I have little of already. I can't think of a race that I have turned down in the last 3 years because I didn't want to. If I do turn down a race, it is because I am lacking funds or I am already on another team for said race.
Races are awesome, running is great (even though sometimes I forget that I love it) and people's reaction to the fact that you are running a half marathon is great, for the most part. I think part of why I love races so much is....well several reason's actually.
1) the "herd" of like minded racers at the start line all doing their pre-race rituals. Everyone has their thing they have to have or do to really feel like they are starting a race. My race M.O. is a banana and PB with some stretching. There is just a buzz of excited energy. There is usually music pumping, people talking and some dancing. It is just awesome to be a part of it all.
2) Running with a bunch of people. It is just fun. People cheer you on along the way. If you stop for any reason, other than at a water station, about 20 people will ask you if you are okay
3) The signs people hold up to encourage runners. My favorite, to date, "Don't poop your pants." If you aren't a runner you may not really find the humor in it.
Races are awesome.
I am lucky to have a husband and parents that support me in my running habits/addictions. When taking on anything new or doing something so "crazy" it is so nice to have support and people to cheer you on. Having running buddies has always helped too, whether they are ones you actually run with or just talk about running with. I'm grateful that the people closest to me don't roll their eyes and my dreams and goals or talk to me with a voice of doubt in my abilities.
Big thanks to my support team!
Thursday, October 9, 2014
I feel like I'm taking Crazy Pills
You know how sometimes life just seems to get out of hand?
I'm there now.
There are several factors.
1) I still have boxes ofcrap our belongings in several rooms in the house. Everything doesn't have a place therefore everything can't be in its place. It drives me bonkers but I feel like the only time I have to conquer the box beasts is Saturdays and Sundays. And Sundays I try to treat as the day of rest, as I have been taught... but I'm finding it more difficult to do so.
2) I have a puppy. LOVE HER! But she is kind of crazy, as is expected with a 4 month old pup. She is growing fast. She is in the teething stage of life and although I haven't suffer many casualties by way of shoes or things being completely destroyed my hands have suffered from her biting. I've tried the holding her mouth closed, yelping like a puppy and tucking her lip under her teeth so she is basically biting herself. All of these methods seem to get her more excited and more mouthy. I seriously feel like the worst puppy mom ever. She seems to have gotten worse the last few weeks, but we have also gotten of our routine. I'm hoping that getting back to that routine, hoping that she gets more sleep, etc, will help. I am get frustrated and like I said I feel like I am doing something wrong which makes me feel like the worst puppy mom ever.
3) Church. I feel that I am failing at church. Moving to a new ward has not really helped. We have been in our house 2.5 months. We go to sacrament most Sundays, we know like 2 people in our ward that we talked to while we were fixing the house and they moseyed on over to say hi. Maybe I have just been spoiled with awesome wards thus far in my 27 years of life but I really find it weird that no one has reached out to us in that 2.5 months of time. No phone call, no coming to our house, nothing. Well I did get a belated bday present from the relief society but unfortunately I wasn't home when they brought it so I didn't get to meet them. I have a hard time going to places where I don't feel like I know anyone and church is becoming one of those places. I mean no one even talks to us when we go to church. It's weird to me! It really makes me wish that I were a super extrovert and that is was easy for me to just talk to people and make people be my friend but I can't muster the courage to do that. Its just not a natural easy thing for me.
I know there are things that I could/should be doing for my own personal spiritual growth and those things have fallen by the wayside as well. I have noticed a difference in myself, I don't like it. It isn't helping me and it isn't helping my husband either. I have made a mental note of the things I need to get back in to my routine that I know will help me to feel better about myself, my life and well just all around better.
4) I've lost my journal. Okay it isn't exactly lost it is just lost in the mess of item #1. Having a journal has always helped me sort out stuff, get over stuff and just get things off my chest and brain. I guess I never realized how important is was to me (cause I am not the most consistent journal writer) until I have gone without it. Now I miss it.
5) My to-do list. There are so many things that I would like to get done, that aren't housework, but I just can't squeeze them in. Lets be honest, not even the regular house hold chores are getting done because I feel I have so little time and things that are more important. So my house just looks like a pig sty most of the time. A lot of "little" projects at my house seem to unravel into much bigger things. Example: I have acrap craft table that I want to move to our 2nd kitchen easy enough right? Wrong, in order to move it down there I need to move some cupboards that are sitting on the floor, which I need to decide if I still want them downstairs, really I would rather have shelving ceiling to floor where they use to be. So just build shelves? Well currently there is a dryer and unused washer in that space. We have a washer upstairs in our garage that we use and plan to put the dryer up there too BUT that takes some electrical rewiring or wiring which we (by we I mean my hubby cause I know nothing about that stuff and he is genius, I just flip the breaker switches and bring tools or beverages) haven't had time for. So at our house, one does not simply move a table to its new home.
You may wonder what we are spending all our time on. Well I am up at 5 AM to get up, get puppy up, walked, fed, and pottied. Then I have to get ready for work, feed myself, make lunches for me and hubby. We also play with puppy and do some training with her. Takes me about 45 mins to get to work, sometimes I workout at lunch, 60 minutes home (yay traffic), make dinner (hubby walks and feeds the puppy), eat, clean up (dishes by hand, no dishwasher), play/train puppy. Usually by this time it is 7:30 or 8, I'm EXHAUSTED and I really just want to go to sleep but I still haven't accomplished anything on my to-do list.
In my mind, once I get all those boxes cleaned out and everything has a place then that will solve a lot of this. I am staying up til about 10:30 or 11 trying to get things off my list and get organized.
I'm there now.
There are several factors.
1) I still have boxes of
2) I have a puppy. LOVE HER! But she is kind of crazy, as is expected with a 4 month old pup. She is growing fast. She is in the teething stage of life and although I haven't suffer many casualties by way of shoes or things being completely destroyed my hands have suffered from her biting. I've tried the holding her mouth closed, yelping like a puppy and tucking her lip under her teeth so she is basically biting herself. All of these methods seem to get her more excited and more mouthy. I seriously feel like the worst puppy mom ever. She seems to have gotten worse the last few weeks, but we have also gotten of our routine. I'm hoping that getting back to that routine, hoping that she gets more sleep, etc, will help. I am get frustrated and like I said I feel like I am doing something wrong which makes me feel like the worst puppy mom ever.
3) Church. I feel that I am failing at church. Moving to a new ward has not really helped. We have been in our house 2.5 months. We go to sacrament most Sundays, we know like 2 people in our ward that we talked to while we were fixing the house and they moseyed on over to say hi. Maybe I have just been spoiled with awesome wards thus far in my 27 years of life but I really find it weird that no one has reached out to us in that 2.5 months of time. No phone call, no coming to our house, nothing. Well I did get a belated bday present from the relief society but unfortunately I wasn't home when they brought it so I didn't get to meet them. I have a hard time going to places where I don't feel like I know anyone and church is becoming one of those places. I mean no one even talks to us when we go to church. It's weird to me! It really makes me wish that I were a super extrovert and that is was easy for me to just talk to people and make people be my friend but I can't muster the courage to do that. Its just not a natural easy thing for me.
I know there are things that I could/should be doing for my own personal spiritual growth and those things have fallen by the wayside as well. I have noticed a difference in myself, I don't like it. It isn't helping me and it isn't helping my husband either. I have made a mental note of the things I need to get back in to my routine that I know will help me to feel better about myself, my life and well just all around better.
4) I've lost my journal. Okay it isn't exactly lost it is just lost in the mess of item #1. Having a journal has always helped me sort out stuff, get over stuff and just get things off my chest and brain. I guess I never realized how important is was to me (cause I am not the most consistent journal writer) until I have gone without it. Now I miss it.
5) My to-do list. There are so many things that I would like to get done, that aren't housework, but I just can't squeeze them in. Lets be honest, not even the regular house hold chores are getting done because I feel I have so little time and things that are more important. So my house just looks like a pig sty most of the time. A lot of "little" projects at my house seem to unravel into much bigger things. Example: I have a
You may wonder what we are spending all our time on. Well I am up at 5 AM to get up, get puppy up, walked, fed, and pottied. Then I have to get ready for work, feed myself, make lunches for me and hubby. We also play with puppy and do some training with her. Takes me about 45 mins to get to work, sometimes I workout at lunch, 60 minutes home (yay traffic), make dinner (hubby walks and feeds the puppy), eat, clean up (dishes by hand, no dishwasher), play/train puppy. Usually by this time it is 7:30 or 8, I'm EXHAUSTED and I really just want to go to sleep but I still haven't accomplished anything on my to-do list.
In my mind, once I get all those boxes cleaned out and everything has a place then that will solve a lot of this. I am staying up til about 10:30 or 11 trying to get things off my list and get organized.
Monday, August 18, 2014
A New Family Member
Friday the hubby and I picked up our puppy. It was awesome! I was happy, excited and nervous. Here I am taking home this little puppy that I am now responsible for the outcome of this puppy's life. The way that she acts will be my responsibility. Everyone told/warned me how hard it is to have a puppy, like I've never had one before. I've had dogs most of my life so I know what it is like having a puppy... but did I really? When you have a puppy as a youth typically your parents end up taking care of it. You get to pick up the poop and that is about it, well for me anyway.
Our puppy's name is Isis, no not after the terrorist group but the Egyptian god of family, love, and marriage. My weekend with Isis, and the dog we were puppy sitting, was pretty awesome. We had some potty accidents, which is to be expected, but I was to impressed some cousins when I told Isis to go potty and she did so immediately. She is so smart after only this weekend she is getting the hang of sit and go potty. She has made it a full 3 hours in her crate, and she hasn't made a mess in her crate, yet.
Her first night away from her mama and siblings her little whimper was so sad, it actually made me tear up a little bit. Sometimes she whines when we put her in her crate sometimes she doesn't but he does not whine nearly as much as I expected. And she is more mellow then I was anticipating.
This will be my test to see if I can handle being a mom. Children sort of terrify me. Being the one that has to take care of this lil fur ball all the time also kind of terrifies me. I mean I'm in it with the hubby so I am not alone. Sometimes it is hard to say no to her adorable little face and sometimes (after little sleep Wednesday, Thursday and Friday) I get stressed cause she just peed in the same room 3 times within about an hour. In my tired little mind it was like, "great she is peeing everywhere! I can't do this, I don't remember how to potty train. I am the WORST puppy mom EVER!!" My hubby reassured me that I am not the worst puppy mom ever and calmly removed her from the room and cleaned up the mess.
She is uber adorable and fairly mellow. We took her to a family party on Sunday and she was so good just hangout while everyone greeted and pet her. With all that interaction she was pooped! I'm so excited to have her in our little family and can't wait to see her grow and learn more.
If you are getting a puppy I would recommend Cesar Millan's Short Guide to a Happy Dog. I haven't even made it all the way through the book and I feel like it has helped me a lot. I feel like I understand dogs better than I have.
I just love her to pieces and can't wait for all the crazy adventures that our ahead of us.
Our puppy's name is Isis, no not after the terrorist group but the Egyptian god of family, love, and marriage. My weekend with Isis, and the dog we were puppy sitting, was pretty awesome. We had some potty accidents, which is to be expected, but I was to impressed some cousins when I told Isis to go potty and she did so immediately. She is so smart after only this weekend she is getting the hang of sit and go potty. She has made it a full 3 hours in her crate, and she hasn't made a mess in her crate, yet.
Her first night away from her mama and siblings her little whimper was so sad, it actually made me tear up a little bit. Sometimes she whines when we put her in her crate sometimes she doesn't but he does not whine nearly as much as I expected. And she is more mellow then I was anticipating.
This will be my test to see if I can handle being a mom. Children sort of terrify me. Being the one that has to take care of this lil fur ball all the time also kind of terrifies me. I mean I'm in it with the hubby so I am not alone. Sometimes it is hard to say no to her adorable little face and sometimes (after little sleep Wednesday, Thursday and Friday) I get stressed cause she just peed in the same room 3 times within about an hour. In my tired little mind it was like, "great she is peeing everywhere! I can't do this, I don't remember how to potty train. I am the WORST puppy mom EVER!!" My hubby reassured me that I am not the worst puppy mom ever and calmly removed her from the room and cleaned up the mess.
She is uber adorable and fairly mellow. We took her to a family party on Sunday and she was so good just hangout while everyone greeted and pet her. With all that interaction she was pooped! I'm so excited to have her in our little family and can't wait to see her grow and learn more.
If you are getting a puppy I would recommend Cesar Millan's Short Guide to a Happy Dog. I haven't even made it all the way through the book and I feel like it has helped me a lot. I feel like I understand dogs better than I have.
I just love her to pieces and can't wait for all the crazy adventures that our ahead of us.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Keeping up Appearances
I'm sort of awful at this blog writing thing these days. It has been 2.5 months of craziness! It has been full of burning the candle at both ends working late at the house, carpooling to work with the hubster, fighting of the feeling of absolute overwhelming-ness and chasing deer out of our yard.
I had a co-worker that told me to expect to see deer on a daily basis, just about. I didn't believe him. Now I do. Almost everyday that we pull up to work on our house there is a deer or 2 or 7. Last night we had 2 bucks and about 5 does. I chased them away from our cheaply protected veggie garden. I don't care if they are in my yard just don't want them eating my veggies... well they have already consumed some of my plants beyond repair. I think I might get cucumbers. Anyway when they originally got into our little netted off garden I cried. I had so much hope and excitement and they ate it all. Lets just say Bambi and I aren't on good terms this year. Our goal is to save money to build a fence that is "deer proof" but that can get expensive so we will see. On a positive note, they cleaned up all our fallen, and no good, apricots.
In our house adventures I have learned I never want to hire another contractor so long as I live. It is not that our contractor was horrible, he was nice, it was the people that he hired that weren't my fav. Because of the way our loan was we didn't have control of the money it was the bank. If I did I would have paid the sub-contractors myself and they could get paid when they did their job right. I am not a professional and it is sad when I can do a job better than someone that gets hired as one. I felt like all we could do was complain to our contractor. Our plumber was the WORST. I think he ended up coming back and fixing almost everything thing that he touched/installed. We are finally near the end. All that is left is fixing a hole in the wall that had to be made for the plumber to fix his mistake. hopefully they can handle doing a good job on fixing the wall. We have moved most of our stuff into the house we are just waiting for a certificate of occupancy from the inspector. It has been a roller coaster to say the least. I am just excited to move in and live there!
Come the 2nd week of August we will have a little furry addition to our family!! We have a female Greater Swiss Mountain dog reserved in a litter that just turned 6 weeks old yesterday! Except for the last 5 years I have had a little furry dog companion in my life. I'm excited to have that again and be sharing it with my husband, who will be a first time dog owner. I am excited and nervous cause it has been 15 years since I have had to handle the puppy stage. Granted my last dog acted like a puppy up until the last few days of her life. There are a lot of things that I want for this dog that I didn't have for other puppies in my life. Crate training will be a new thing, most of my dogs growing up were outside dogs, except when too cold in the winter. However when Abby slept inside I could hear her sneaking around checking out places she wasn't normally allowed. Now that I have my own house I get to get a large dog, like I have always wanted, and it can sleep inside every night. I could go on and on about how excited I am to have her in my life. I also found out there is a chance I may be able to bring her to work with me. I'll have to get another crate for under my desk but I kind of really hope it happens. I will create a presentation to argue why we need dogs readily available for a pet items team to utilize for their products. =)
There are times I am really super grateful to have certain people in my life. I know I should feel this way all the time but you all know how life goes and we take things for granted. I am grateful for my mom. The reason that is sticking out right now... well there are several. First, she is super handy and has helped the hubby and I A LOT when it comes to our remodeling project. Her skills and knowledge have been priceless, well technically she has probably saved us money with her knowledge. I am also very glad that she is willing to spend hours of her time helping us. She has been out at our house almost as much as we have. I honestly don't know how she does all the amazing things that she does. I'm convinced she is super woman and has just kept it secret this whole time. Another reason i am grateful for my mom is that she lets me run my own life, and has for a long time. She taught me right from wrong and let me govern myself. I had rules and I knew that breaking those rules had consequences that never ceased. I'm sure if you ask my siblings I had less rules and got away with more, and that may be true, but I'm going with I was just more angelic (sshh don't tell them). Seriously though, the only things my mom pushed me or nagged me about was cleaning up my room (and after myself) and doing good in school. When she didn't agree with choices I was making in my life she would let me know she was concerned and why and that was it. I will admit now I probably should have listened but I didn't and I learned my lesson. Other than that she just let me do my thing. She never bothered me about when I was going to get married, get a Phd, get a job or have babies. She just accepts that I will get there and do that when it is my time. I LOVE IT! I love my mom. She is the best.
Well that is all for now. =0)
I had a co-worker that told me to expect to see deer on a daily basis, just about. I didn't believe him. Now I do. Almost everyday that we pull up to work on our house there is a deer or 2 or 7. Last night we had 2 bucks and about 5 does. I chased them away from our cheaply protected veggie garden. I don't care if they are in my yard just don't want them eating my veggies... well they have already consumed some of my plants beyond repair. I think I might get cucumbers. Anyway when they originally got into our little netted off garden I cried. I had so much hope and excitement and they ate it all. Lets just say Bambi and I aren't on good terms this year. Our goal is to save money to build a fence that is "deer proof" but that can get expensive so we will see. On a positive note, they cleaned up all our fallen, and no good, apricots.
In our house adventures I have learned I never want to hire another contractor so long as I live. It is not that our contractor was horrible, he was nice, it was the people that he hired that weren't my fav. Because of the way our loan was we didn't have control of the money it was the bank. If I did I would have paid the sub-contractors myself and they could get paid when they did their job right. I am not a professional and it is sad when I can do a job better than someone that gets hired as one. I felt like all we could do was complain to our contractor. Our plumber was the WORST. I think he ended up coming back and fixing almost everything thing that he touched/installed. We are finally near the end. All that is left is fixing a hole in the wall that had to be made for the plumber to fix his mistake. hopefully they can handle doing a good job on fixing the wall. We have moved most of our stuff into the house we are just waiting for a certificate of occupancy from the inspector. It has been a roller coaster to say the least. I am just excited to move in and live there!
Come the 2nd week of August we will have a little furry addition to our family!! We have a female Greater Swiss Mountain dog reserved in a litter that just turned 6 weeks old yesterday! Except for the last 5 years I have had a little furry dog companion in my life. I'm excited to have that again and be sharing it with my husband, who will be a first time dog owner. I am excited and nervous cause it has been 15 years since I have had to handle the puppy stage. Granted my last dog acted like a puppy up until the last few days of her life. There are a lot of things that I want for this dog that I didn't have for other puppies in my life. Crate training will be a new thing, most of my dogs growing up were outside dogs, except when too cold in the winter. However when Abby slept inside I could hear her sneaking around checking out places she wasn't normally allowed. Now that I have my own house I get to get a large dog, like I have always wanted, and it can sleep inside every night. I could go on and on about how excited I am to have her in my life. I also found out there is a chance I may be able to bring her to work with me. I'll have to get another crate for under my desk but I kind of really hope it happens. I will create a presentation to argue why we need dogs readily available for a pet items team to utilize for their products. =)
There are times I am really super grateful to have certain people in my life. I know I should feel this way all the time but you all know how life goes and we take things for granted. I am grateful for my mom. The reason that is sticking out right now... well there are several. First, she is super handy and has helped the hubby and I A LOT when it comes to our remodeling project. Her skills and knowledge have been priceless, well technically she has probably saved us money with her knowledge. I am also very glad that she is willing to spend hours of her time helping us. She has been out at our house almost as much as we have. I honestly don't know how she does all the amazing things that she does. I'm convinced she is super woman and has just kept it secret this whole time. Another reason i am grateful for my mom is that she lets me run my own life, and has for a long time. She taught me right from wrong and let me govern myself. I had rules and I knew that breaking those rules had consequences that never ceased. I'm sure if you ask my siblings I had less rules and got away with more, and that may be true, but I'm going with I was just more angelic (sshh don't tell them). Seriously though, the only things my mom pushed me or nagged me about was cleaning up my room (and after myself) and doing good in school. When she didn't agree with choices I was making in my life she would let me know she was concerned and why and that was it. I will admit now I probably should have listened but I didn't and I learned my lesson. Other than that she just let me do my thing. She never bothered me about when I was going to get married, get a Phd, get a job or have babies. She just accepts that I will get there and do that when it is my time. I LOVE IT! I love my mom. She is the best.
Well that is all for now. =0)
Friday, May 16, 2014
Reality Check?
Wow! 7 months can fly by quickly. Nutshell update:
Got a new job 7 months ago
Signed for a new house 3 weeks ago
Lost my best friend's mom (so my other mother) 2 weeks ago
5 days ago was my 2nd wedding anniversary.
Been working 8-14 hour days every week day and then (on those 8 hour days) going out to the new house and doing manual labor to get some things improved.
At the end of the month my hubby and I are going to be foster parents to a kitty names Eva
Nutshell update done.
Sitting in the lender's office signing paper after paper after paper made me realize that I am no longer 20. I tend to forget that I keep aging each year. Also, that after 2 years of marriage I still suck at signing my last name.
I love our house. In all of it's need for love glory. We have land and a decent sized house. And I love all the work and would rather do that than my paying job. The thing that I think has been the hardest for me about the house is all the help people offer but don't follow through with. I don't know why it bothers me so much. Probably because for me when I offer help or say I am going to do something I do everything in my power to get it done or anything I need to in order to be there to help and I don't get why other people are like that. I've had tons of people offer their help but only 5 people actually show up and help. What the heck? I know there are some that want to but can't because they have a new house of their own that they have to handle or are dealing with other life crisis things. Shrug another thing in life I don't understand.
I am excited and nervous to be a kitty foster parent. I've never owned a cat personally but I love animals so it should be really interesting.
Well, back to work
Peace out.
Got a new job 7 months ago
Signed for a new house 3 weeks ago
Lost my best friend's mom (so my other mother) 2 weeks ago
5 days ago was my 2nd wedding anniversary.
Been working 8-14 hour days every week day and then (on those 8 hour days) going out to the new house and doing manual labor to get some things improved.
At the end of the month my hubby and I are going to be foster parents to a kitty names Eva
Nutshell update done.
Sitting in the lender's office signing paper after paper after paper made me realize that I am no longer 20. I tend to forget that I keep aging each year. Also, that after 2 years of marriage I still suck at signing my last name.
I love our house. In all of it's need for love glory. We have land and a decent sized house. And I love all the work and would rather do that than my paying job. The thing that I think has been the hardest for me about the house is all the help people offer but don't follow through with. I don't know why it bothers me so much. Probably because for me when I offer help or say I am going to do something I do everything in my power to get it done or anything I need to in order to be there to help and I don't get why other people are like that. I've had tons of people offer their help but only 5 people actually show up and help. What the heck? I know there are some that want to but can't because they have a new house of their own that they have to handle or are dealing with other life crisis things. Shrug another thing in life I don't understand.
I am excited and nervous to be a kitty foster parent. I've never owned a cat personally but I love animals so it should be really interesting.
Well, back to work
Peace out.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
If I had the Strength of a Pioneer! & Buckskin Gulch
Last Sunday my father-in-law invited me to go on a hiking trip with him and some of his family. He was going to leave on Friday and mentioned that since I didn't have a job I already had the time off. I agreed to go wondering if I was crazy. Oh I forgot to mention this hike is about 20 miles.
We left for Kanab, UT to stay the night and start out hike early Saturday morning. We weren't sure if we were going to be able to do our hike with all the government shutdowns and what not. This hike is called Buckskin Gulch and is part of the Escalante National Monument, even though it was seemed it would not work out we decided to meet in Kanab and if it didn't open up then we would hike somewhere around Kanab. Fortunately it opened up and we were able to do the hike (not that there were barricades or anything to stop us).
The hike was BEAUTIFUL! I'll post pictures as soon as I get some from my father in law. The first 13 miles are mostly slot canyons. There are parts that open up and there are little grassy/weedy sand bars. There were muddy puddles that we had to wade through and hope we didn't lose our shoes in the mud. There isn't much elevation change, except when you have to climb rocks. There are some parts that you have to find your way around, over, or under gargantuan boulders. The formations that the canyon walls make are amazing, sometimes they appear to be straight up and down while others times they are wavy and bubbly looking. After the 13 miles you have to wade up river for a little bit and then the trail ends up going from one side of the canyon to the other. Our group kept track and we crossed water 150 times within out 20 mile hike.
It was kind of funny, I could estimate how far we had gone based on the things that started hurting. Since I have done half marathons (13.1 miles) I knew which of my body parts start aching at certain times. About 10 miles my knees started hurting. It's just a little spot on the outside and below the knee cap. They always ache at that point and certainly after the race. Once my knees started hurting I knew we were close to the end of the slot canyons and I ended up being right.
The water was a little chilly and we were burning daylight. The way my feet are built the bottom of my pinky toes tilt in towards my "ring" toe so I often get blisters where they are squished and rubbed by my "ring" toe. I tried to help that with moleskin. With 20/20 hindsight it was pointless to put on moleskin before spending 7 miles walking in and out of water, but it helped for a little bit. Once we crossed the river a ton of times and with the water being the temperature it was my feet were slightly numb so any pain on my feet didn't bother me much. My only problem now was my knees. Both knees hurt but my right one hurt much worse than my left. As we trekked on the sun started setting, my right hip joined the painful club. It hurt to walk on land and it hurt worse to walk through the water. There was nothing I could do, I had already taken all the ibuprofen that is allowed according to the bottle directions. The only relief was to stop and stopping meant the trek would last longer so I forged ahead, bit my lip when it got really bad and held back my tears. I was going to make it through.
I wasn't the only one hobbling along, thankfully, my father in law had some pain in his foot so he needed the pair of hiking poles we had, that I had been using. My aunt (in-law?) was having her lower back tighten up with made it hard for her to lift up her legs. It got to point were I would tell my leg to lift so it could clear this rock that was sticking 2 inches up from the ground and it lifted up only about a 1/2 inch. That was kind of scary only cause I've never had an experience where my body didn't do what my brain was telling it to do.
As the sun disappeared behind the mountains, we were still in good spirits, however they seemed to fade as the sun faded. Once it was dark it seemed to make the trip harder. We couldn't clearly see where we were going and we had to make sure we were staying near the river. Each bend of the river we hoped would reveal the end of our hike. Part of our group went ahead to get the cars. They marked the place were we needed to get off the trail with a flashlight and a glow stick. I have never been so happy to see a glow stick in my life.
I am glad that I did it, and survived it. Will I do it again? I am not sure at this point. I am still healing. Most of my muscles are fine now, I can walk up the stairs like the average human being. My biggest pain now is one of my little pinky toes. I think if I were to do it again, I would go the other way. Start with most of the water wading and finish in the slot canyons. That way I could wear one pair of shows that get supper wet and muddy. Once I got to the convergence I would switch to another pair of shoes and socks so they can be dry for the rest of the hike. Well most of it, we went through water 9 times in the slot canyon and I am sure that number changes with each year.
After this hike I have a whole new appreciation for pioneers. I did a trek when I was in young women's. We had to wear pioneer dresses, aprons, bonnets, and used handcarts to haul our stuff. That was kind of tough. We were out for 3 days and I don't think the total number of miles we went was more than 13. For me I know it wasn't because I got some beastly blisters and they wouldn't let me walk on the hardest longest day. But to go 20 miles in one day I was done and to think they would do that, go to bed, wake up and do it again the next day, some without shoes! Props to the pioneers.
We left for Kanab, UT to stay the night and start out hike early Saturday morning. We weren't sure if we were going to be able to do our hike with all the government shutdowns and what not. This hike is called Buckskin Gulch and is part of the Escalante National Monument, even though it was seemed it would not work out we decided to meet in Kanab and if it didn't open up then we would hike somewhere around Kanab. Fortunately it opened up and we were able to do the hike (not that there were barricades or anything to stop us).
The hike was BEAUTIFUL! I'll post pictures as soon as I get some from my father in law. The first 13 miles are mostly slot canyons. There are parts that open up and there are little grassy/weedy sand bars. There were muddy puddles that we had to wade through and hope we didn't lose our shoes in the mud. There isn't much elevation change, except when you have to climb rocks. There are some parts that you have to find your way around, over, or under gargantuan boulders. The formations that the canyon walls make are amazing, sometimes they appear to be straight up and down while others times they are wavy and bubbly looking. After the 13 miles you have to wade up river for a little bit and then the trail ends up going from one side of the canyon to the other. Our group kept track and we crossed water 150 times within out 20 mile hike.
It was kind of funny, I could estimate how far we had gone based on the things that started hurting. Since I have done half marathons (13.1 miles) I knew which of my body parts start aching at certain times. About 10 miles my knees started hurting. It's just a little spot on the outside and below the knee cap. They always ache at that point and certainly after the race. Once my knees started hurting I knew we were close to the end of the slot canyons and I ended up being right.
The water was a little chilly and we were burning daylight. The way my feet are built the bottom of my pinky toes tilt in towards my "ring" toe so I often get blisters where they are squished and rubbed by my "ring" toe. I tried to help that with moleskin. With 20/20 hindsight it was pointless to put on moleskin before spending 7 miles walking in and out of water, but it helped for a little bit. Once we crossed the river a ton of times and with the water being the temperature it was my feet were slightly numb so any pain on my feet didn't bother me much. My only problem now was my knees. Both knees hurt but my right one hurt much worse than my left. As we trekked on the sun started setting, my right hip joined the painful club. It hurt to walk on land and it hurt worse to walk through the water. There was nothing I could do, I had already taken all the ibuprofen that is allowed according to the bottle directions. The only relief was to stop and stopping meant the trek would last longer so I forged ahead, bit my lip when it got really bad and held back my tears. I was going to make it through.
I wasn't the only one hobbling along, thankfully, my father in law had some pain in his foot so he needed the pair of hiking poles we had, that I had been using. My aunt (in-law?) was having her lower back tighten up with made it hard for her to lift up her legs. It got to point were I would tell my leg to lift so it could clear this rock that was sticking 2 inches up from the ground and it lifted up only about a 1/2 inch. That was kind of scary only cause I've never had an experience where my body didn't do what my brain was telling it to do.
As the sun disappeared behind the mountains, we were still in good spirits, however they seemed to fade as the sun faded. Once it was dark it seemed to make the trip harder. We couldn't clearly see where we were going and we had to make sure we were staying near the river. Each bend of the river we hoped would reveal the end of our hike. Part of our group went ahead to get the cars. They marked the place were we needed to get off the trail with a flashlight and a glow stick. I have never been so happy to see a glow stick in my life.
I am glad that I did it, and survived it. Will I do it again? I am not sure at this point. I am still healing. Most of my muscles are fine now, I can walk up the stairs like the average human being. My biggest pain now is one of my little pinky toes. I think if I were to do it again, I would go the other way. Start with most of the water wading and finish in the slot canyons. That way I could wear one pair of shows that get supper wet and muddy. Once I got to the convergence I would switch to another pair of shoes and socks so they can be dry for the rest of the hike. Well most of it, we went through water 9 times in the slot canyon and I am sure that number changes with each year.
After this hike I have a whole new appreciation for pioneers. I did a trek when I was in young women's. We had to wear pioneer dresses, aprons, bonnets, and used handcarts to haul our stuff. That was kind of tough. We were out for 3 days and I don't think the total number of miles we went was more than 13. For me I know it wasn't because I got some beastly blisters and they wouldn't let me walk on the hardest longest day. But to go 20 miles in one day I was done and to think they would do that, go to bed, wake up and do it again the next day, some without shoes! Props to the pioneers.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
How do you do this?
I'm going on 1 week of being officially unemployed and 10 days being unofficially unemployed. This has nothing to with the whole government shut down thing because my job had absolutely nothing to do with the government. I am a graphic designer, and I was one for a pampering product place. I'm not going to get into details about how it all went down cause that is not what this post is about. This post is about how people survive being unemployed. I don't get it.
The first day I spent crying my eyes out because I was upset and scared. Here I am living at my parents house with my hubby, trying to save some dinero so we can have a place to call our own and I'm jobless (okay not 100% jobless I still work like once a month at a printshop that I have worked at for like 3 years but that's not exactly rolling in the dough & they don't really have a whole lot of work right now to give me more hours).
Day 2 I applied for some jobs and tried to stay productive. Basically all of the days since have followed that pattern. Day 10, I fell like a total bum and I cannot figure out how people do this often or live their lives like this.
When you have kids, an at home business, or have someone that needs constant care, that's something else. That stuff takes a lot of time and attention. I just have me, the house and my thoughts. Some 40 hour per week people may be thinking, "It would be nice to have 10 days off." And I would have completely agreed with them about 10 days ago. Wake up when I want, stay in my pajamas if I felt like it, do whatever I wanted all day. 10 day vacations are apparently my max. I've never had a vacation longer than maybe 5 days since I stepped into the real world of the workforce and graduated from college. I create task lists everyday but as the "vacation" continues I find myself getting more lazy cause if I don't get it done today, well I have all day tomorrow. If it doesn't get done tomorrow then there will be the day after that. I have been fairly productive, probably not as productive as I could be but I have moments where I feel really depressed about being unemployed and I just don't want to do anything but sit around and feel sorry for myself. Other times I'm thoroughly convinced that although this situation sucks, there is a blessing in it somewhere. Maybe the sheer fact that I am out of a job position that I was getting frustrated with is the blessing. I think part of what bothers me is not knowing when this "vacation" will end. Last time I was looking for a graphic design job it took 7 months, granted I had my printshop job full time while I was waiting for that. Right now I just have my once month, and I can't do any freelance because I no longer have the design programs, well unless I want to pull out my old laptop that is like 8 years old and freezes/crashes ever 5-10 minutes. I don't even know if that thing still works. I haven't turned it on in a little over a year. It's a great dust collector.
If you are a person that is home all the time with out a business, kids or person to take care of, what do you do all day? How do you stay sane? I've never thought of myself as a super social person but after only a few days I went to lunch with some of my co-workers and I just loved listening to them talk! And I felt like I talked quite a bit more than I normally do. I miss being around those co-workers everyday. They are awesome. I probably annoy my husband the most. Now that I don't have much human interaction during the day, the moment he gets home I'm all up in his face talking about whatever I can think about, most of it probably doesn't even make sense. If he has to do homework, sometimes I'll just stare at him, waiting for any break he may have. Kind of creepy, this is why I need to find a job stat.
The first day I spent crying my eyes out because I was upset and scared. Here I am living at my parents house with my hubby, trying to save some dinero so we can have a place to call our own and I'm jobless (okay not 100% jobless I still work like once a month at a printshop that I have worked at for like 3 years but that's not exactly rolling in the dough & they don't really have a whole lot of work right now to give me more hours).
Day 2 I applied for some jobs and tried to stay productive. Basically all of the days since have followed that pattern. Day 10, I fell like a total bum and I cannot figure out how people do this often or live their lives like this.
When you have kids, an at home business, or have someone that needs constant care, that's something else. That stuff takes a lot of time and attention. I just have me, the house and my thoughts. Some 40 hour per week people may be thinking, "It would be nice to have 10 days off." And I would have completely agreed with them about 10 days ago. Wake up when I want, stay in my pajamas if I felt like it, do whatever I wanted all day. 10 day vacations are apparently my max. I've never had a vacation longer than maybe 5 days since I stepped into the real world of the workforce and graduated from college. I create task lists everyday but as the "vacation" continues I find myself getting more lazy cause if I don't get it done today, well I have all day tomorrow. If it doesn't get done tomorrow then there will be the day after that. I have been fairly productive, probably not as productive as I could be but I have moments where I feel really depressed about being unemployed and I just don't want to do anything but sit around and feel sorry for myself. Other times I'm thoroughly convinced that although this situation sucks, there is a blessing in it somewhere. Maybe the sheer fact that I am out of a job position that I was getting frustrated with is the blessing. I think part of what bothers me is not knowing when this "vacation" will end. Last time I was looking for a graphic design job it took 7 months, granted I had my printshop job full time while I was waiting for that. Right now I just have my once month, and I can't do any freelance because I no longer have the design programs, well unless I want to pull out my old laptop that is like 8 years old and freezes/crashes ever 5-10 minutes. I don't even know if that thing still works. I haven't turned it on in a little over a year. It's a great dust collector.
If you are a person that is home all the time with out a business, kids or person to take care of, what do you do all day? How do you stay sane? I've never thought of myself as a super social person but after only a few days I went to lunch with some of my co-workers and I just loved listening to them talk! And I felt like I talked quite a bit more than I normally do. I miss being around those co-workers everyday. They are awesome. I probably annoy my husband the most. Now that I don't have much human interaction during the day, the moment he gets home I'm all up in his face talking about whatever I can think about, most of it probably doesn't even make sense. If he has to do homework, sometimes I'll just stare at him, waiting for any break he may have. Kind of creepy, this is why I need to find a job stat.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Fat Girl Stuck in a Skinny Girl Body
I have come to the conclusion that I am a fat girl stuck in a skinny girl's body. Which I realize there are way worse things that I could be. I love food! But on the other hand I really like being in shape looking. In my what feels like my wildest dreams I would look like this:
And then I start planning how I'm going to get there. All determined and stuff then the next thing I know there are people that are like, "hey, want to come to my party, I have cake."
and I'm like, "WHAT?!?!? I LUFF CAKE!" and then I eat it all and everybody else just gets to lick up crumbs or frosting off the plate.
Okay, that situation never really happened. For the record, I do love cake but I would come to your party cause I like you, not just for the cake. The whole getting in shape and looking like a non-steroidal Crossfit queen is a true situation/dream. I've been reading this free ebook I got on Amazon called 'Fit is the New Skinny: The No-BS Truth about Getting Thinner, Leaner, and Stronger' by Michael Matthews. I'm realizing that diet (meaning what you eat) is a HUGE part in looking like the pic above (no, not the cake picture). Granted the book says that, like once per chapter, it's not going to sink in with me until I prove it to myself.
I've been trying to eat better. I started with drinking more water. If you have been there you know you have to pee like every 5 minutes for the first few days and your co-workers start worrying about you a little bit. On my eating better journey I've started using an app to track calories. I'm not in it just to find out calories but it helps me think about the things I am eating. Counting how many M&M's your are downing in one handful gets tedious and makes you want to eat less M&M's, well almost. Really though, this app has helped me and if you are on the same "eat healthier" journey I recommend you get yourself an app for that.
This quote is me and my life (minus that kids part). I'm going to say being a creative mind sometimes gets in the way of the way I want my life to be. I have super awesome, on the ball, eat like a champ days and I love them. Then there are those days where jumping out of bed is all the effort I can muster but then I still have to get ready for work and do that whole adult responsibility thing. On those good days (that sometimes last a week) I am on it, I have dinners all planned out, food all bought for said dinners, I go to the gym, work it, and life is good. But it is usually followed by a day, or even a week, of what are we going to have for dinner, what am I going to do at the gym (which usually results in a not so satisfying workout), I don't want to run, etc. It seriously feels like my brain just got tired from being on top of things and forgets how to function in Awesome Mode. How do you overcome your brain fighting against you when it runs everything in your body? I haven't figured it out. That is why my workouts are still coupled with eating a Hostess Cupcake or two... or five. But I must be getting better because I am feeling changes in my body. My arms aren't quite as flabby, my running has become better (even though less frequent), and I can do more at the gym (when I am in Awesome Mode).
Sugar is my archenemy, will I ever conquer it? I don't know, but I certainly have gotten better at resisting it's temptations. I want to make it clear that I don't think I am fat and I know I don't look fat. I'm just skinny fat, meaning inside I just don't feel as healthy as I use to and that is why I am trying to make some changes before I wake up one morning and realize my only option in life is to be sumo wrestler. I've gotten to that point in life that adults always warned me about, you know where they say, "eat all that crap while you can, someday it will actually stick to your bones." There are a million different versions of that saying, but you get the idea. I can't just eat whatever and expect it to just slide through my system. It is a little depressing but it's life and most people have to deal with it at some point.
I hope to get better and being in Awesome Mode more often than not cause I'm sure consistency is a big factor. My mind and body can only be as strong as I give it fuel to be. I'm guessing 5 Hostess Cupcakes aren't the right kind of fuel. Sigh. Baby steps and maybe I'll get there someday, for now, just trying to what I can to keep my sanity.
Okay, that situation never really happened. For the record, I do love cake but I would come to your party cause I like you, not just for the cake. The whole getting in shape and looking like a non-steroidal Crossfit queen is a true situation/dream. I've been reading this free ebook I got on Amazon called 'Fit is the New Skinny: The No-BS Truth about Getting Thinner, Leaner, and Stronger' by Michael Matthews. I'm realizing that diet (meaning what you eat) is a HUGE part in looking like the pic above (no, not the cake picture). Granted the book says that, like once per chapter, it's not going to sink in with me until I prove it to myself.
I've been trying to eat better. I started with drinking more water. If you have been there you know you have to pee like every 5 minutes for the first few days and your co-workers start worrying about you a little bit. On my eating better journey I've started using an app to track calories. I'm not in it just to find out calories but it helps me think about the things I am eating. Counting how many M&M's your are downing in one handful gets tedious and makes you want to eat less M&M's, well almost. Really though, this app has helped me and if you are on the same "eat healthier" journey I recommend you get yourself an app for that.
This quote is me and my life (minus that kids part). I'm going to say being a creative mind sometimes gets in the way of the way I want my life to be. I have super awesome, on the ball, eat like a champ days and I love them. Then there are those days where jumping out of bed is all the effort I can muster but then I still have to get ready for work and do that whole adult responsibility thing. On those good days (that sometimes last a week) I am on it, I have dinners all planned out, food all bought for said dinners, I go to the gym, work it, and life is good. But it is usually followed by a day, or even a week, of what are we going to have for dinner, what am I going to do at the gym (which usually results in a not so satisfying workout), I don't want to run, etc. It seriously feels like my brain just got tired from being on top of things and forgets how to function in Awesome Mode. How do you overcome your brain fighting against you when it runs everything in your body? I haven't figured it out. That is why my workouts are still coupled with eating a Hostess Cupcake or two... or five. But I must be getting better because I am feeling changes in my body. My arms aren't quite as flabby, my running has become better (even though less frequent), and I can do more at the gym (when I am in Awesome Mode).
Sugar is my archenemy, will I ever conquer it? I don't know, but I certainly have gotten better at resisting it's temptations. I want to make it clear that I don't think I am fat and I know I don't look fat. I'm just skinny fat, meaning inside I just don't feel as healthy as I use to and that is why I am trying to make some changes before I wake up one morning and realize my only option in life is to be sumo wrestler. I've gotten to that point in life that adults always warned me about, you know where they say, "eat all that crap while you can, someday it will actually stick to your bones." There are a million different versions of that saying, but you get the idea. I can't just eat whatever and expect it to just slide through my system. It is a little depressing but it's life and most people have to deal with it at some point.
I hope to get better and being in Awesome Mode more often than not cause I'm sure consistency is a big factor. My mind and body can only be as strong as I give it fuel to be. I'm guessing 5 Hostess Cupcakes aren't the right kind of fuel. Sigh. Baby steps and maybe I'll get there someday, for now, just trying to what I can to keep my sanity.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Good Morning Ideas.
Sometimes in the morning I have really good ideas. Or what I think are good ideas then later in the day I wonder how I thought it was a good idea.
Example:
This morning I cracked open a can of tuna mixed it with some mayo and added some salt free lemon pepper. Then I decided that instead of slathering it onto bread and making an actual sandwich I was just going to put it in a Tupperware container and take 2 pieces of bread and then I could just scoop it out with my bread and/or crackers.
Now I'm sitting at my desk, the bread isn't scooping like I thought it would. There are crumbs EVERYWHERE. I'm fighting them off my computer keyboard. Why was this a good idea?
On the bright side, I am getting more protein in my diet by eat a whole can of tuna and some grain servings with my bread that is unadulterated with gobs of mayo that I always feel the need to put on a tuna sandwich. Yay!
What are some good ideas that you have had that did not turn out so brilliant in the end.
Example:
This morning I cracked open a can of tuna mixed it with some mayo and added some salt free lemon pepper. Then I decided that instead of slathering it onto bread and making an actual sandwich I was just going to put it in a Tupperware container and take 2 pieces of bread and then I could just scoop it out with my bread and/or crackers.
Now I'm sitting at my desk, the bread isn't scooping like I thought it would. There are crumbs EVERYWHERE. I'm fighting them off my computer keyboard. Why was this a good idea?
On the bright side, I am getting more protein in my diet by eat a whole can of tuna and some grain servings with my bread that is unadulterated with gobs of mayo that I always feel the need to put on a tuna sandwich. Yay!
What are some good ideas that you have had that did not turn out so brilliant in the end.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Mom Status
No I am not a mom, nor am I planning on being one in 9 months (sorry mom and mom-in-law and those that have bets regarding such an event).
I'm sure there are plenty of couples in the position of deciding when to start a family or if they even want to, decisions like that. I know I want to start a family, I have no idea when that will happen and there are a few reasons why.
#1) Here is where I throw my husband under the bus. He likes to be prepared for everything in every way, which I love, usually. In this case he wants to be financially ready to have a kid. I know I'm sure those of you that have had children are snickering inside or possibly laughing out and rolling on the floor. I've been told many, many, MANY times that if parents waited to be financially ready there would be no kids. My feelings, yes save and prepare, but don't let that be the whole deciding factor, I do have a biological clock, I can't produce kids the rest of my life. I only have like 15-ish years left. (whoa that's kind of freaky)
#2) There are times when I'm with my nephews and niece and I think, "I can't do this all the time. At this moment I would be done being a mom." And then I would want to leave my kids out on the porch and put a for sale sign next to them. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my nephews and niece. I mean they say and do really cute things sometimes.
#3) Sometimes children in public are screaming and crying and I wonder how I would handle such a situation. I have an idea in my head how I think children should behave and how I would like my children to behave but how do I get there? Each child has a different personality and thus you have to have different discipline tactics. THEN children eventually become teenagers and sometimes I see teenagers and I'm like what if my children do this, that, or the other. Part of my worry here is that I don't consider communication one of my strong points. Confrontation? I would gladly avoid it, but I realize you can't do that with kids cause then they will just walk all over you and do what they want, break all your house rules and there will be a lack of respect for you as a parent and person. I am thankful that I have a husband that is better at communication than I am and I am working on this and I hope I don't screw up my children.
#4) I don't want to screw up my children.
Now there are 4 some what solid reasons. A few others are that I keep signing up for races. People are like, "hey, I'm going to run such n such race, want to do it with me?" and I'm like a starving child being offered a Milky Way candy bar, you don't say no to a Milky Way. I've asked a relative that has been a nurse and married to an OBGYN about running and being prego. She said you can if you feel up to it but probably shouldn't do more than 2-3 miles. From what I hear (from the world of pregnant horror stories) you don't ever feel like it. There is this nausea and lack of energy thing that kicks in, which sounds like an exercise motivation killer. Plus, you have this extra weight there to help throw off your balance. Have I mentioned that even though my name means one of grace I am not very graceful, I mean I broke my foot walking down the stairs backwards, really? Who does that? oh me. I'll probably be the pregnant lady that has gauze wrapped around her knees cause she keeps falling and scraping them every 5 minutes.
Have you guys ever had sushi? I LOVE SUSHI!! And the whole raw fish thing? Yea I've heard it is frowned upon in the pregnant society, something about mercury being in fish then getting to your blood stream and going to your baby. I dunno, but giving that up for 9 months it makes me a little teary just thinking about it.
I realize my last few reasons are on a selfish note but they come into play once in a while. Really I think it all comes down to being a parent scares me. I'm responsible for someone else, other than myself. I mean I feel somewhat responsible for my husband but if I disappeared for a weekend he would be fine (he might not even notice jk). I don't have to call a babysitter, or drop him off at his parent's and leave a detail "How to take care of Trevor" letter. I can just be like, "bye, love you, I'll miss you, see you Sunday night." My husband can take care of himself, he has been doing it for a really long time. But babies! they need 24 hour care, 7 days a week! I've never had a job that is 24/7 other than being my awesome self and that even gets tough sometimes.
Sigh.
Well I don't have to worry about this for at least 7 more months. In June I have Ragnar and a half marathon I pinky promised to do again. This statement will not prevent me from worrying from time to time. Anyway, we'll see what happens after that. Someday, when I do join the preggers crowd I'm sure I write a blog where I totally freak out. I have a feeling there will be a lot of nights where I will be sobbing uncontrollably and my husband will think I've lost a limb and I'll just be like "I can't do this, can we go backsies on this?" and there will probably be other times when I'm like the energizer bunny hopping around like, "I'm gunna be a mom, oh yea, you know it, I've got the belly to show it!" It's going to be crazy. I'm sure my blog posts will be just as bi-polaresque.
Did you have fears about being a mom when pregnant, or fears facing someday having kids?
I'm sure there are plenty of couples in the position of deciding when to start a family or if they even want to, decisions like that. I know I want to start a family, I have no idea when that will happen and there are a few reasons why.
#1) Here is where I throw my husband under the bus. He likes to be prepared for everything in every way, which I love, usually. In this case he wants to be financially ready to have a kid. I know I'm sure those of you that have had children are snickering inside or possibly laughing out and rolling on the floor. I've been told many, many, MANY times that if parents waited to be financially ready there would be no kids. My feelings, yes save and prepare, but don't let that be the whole deciding factor, I do have a biological clock, I can't produce kids the rest of my life. I only have like 15-ish years left. (whoa that's kind of freaky)
#2) There are times when I'm with my nephews and niece and I think, "I can't do this all the time. At this moment I would be done being a mom." And then I would want to leave my kids out on the porch and put a for sale sign next to them. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my nephews and niece. I mean they say and do really cute things sometimes.
#3) Sometimes children in public are screaming and crying and I wonder how I would handle such a situation. I have an idea in my head how I think children should behave and how I would like my children to behave but how do I get there? Each child has a different personality and thus you have to have different discipline tactics. THEN children eventually become teenagers and sometimes I see teenagers and I'm like what if my children do this, that, or the other. Part of my worry here is that I don't consider communication one of my strong points. Confrontation? I would gladly avoid it, but I realize you can't do that with kids cause then they will just walk all over you and do what they want, break all your house rules and there will be a lack of respect for you as a parent and person. I am thankful that I have a husband that is better at communication than I am and I am working on this and I hope I don't screw up my children.
#4) I don't want to screw up my children.
Now there are 4 some what solid reasons. A few others are that I keep signing up for races. People are like, "hey, I'm going to run such n such race, want to do it with me?" and I'm like a starving child being offered a Milky Way candy bar, you don't say no to a Milky Way. I've asked a relative that has been a nurse and married to an OBGYN about running and being prego. She said you can if you feel up to it but probably shouldn't do more than 2-3 miles. From what I hear (from the world of pregnant horror stories) you don't ever feel like it. There is this nausea and lack of energy thing that kicks in, which sounds like an exercise motivation killer. Plus, you have this extra weight there to help throw off your balance. Have I mentioned that even though my name means one of grace I am not very graceful, I mean I broke my foot walking down the stairs backwards, really? Who does that? oh me. I'll probably be the pregnant lady that has gauze wrapped around her knees cause she keeps falling and scraping them every 5 minutes.
Have you guys ever had sushi? I LOVE SUSHI!! And the whole raw fish thing? Yea I've heard it is frowned upon in the pregnant society, something about mercury being in fish then getting to your blood stream and going to your baby. I dunno, but giving that up for 9 months it makes me a little teary just thinking about it.
I realize my last few reasons are on a selfish note but they come into play once in a while. Really I think it all comes down to being a parent scares me. I'm responsible for someone else, other than myself. I mean I feel somewhat responsible for my husband but if I disappeared for a weekend he would be fine (he might not even notice jk). I don't have to call a babysitter, or drop him off at his parent's and leave a detail "How to take care of Trevor" letter. I can just be like, "bye, love you, I'll miss you, see you Sunday night." My husband can take care of himself, he has been doing it for a really long time. But babies! they need 24 hour care, 7 days a week! I've never had a job that is 24/7 other than being my awesome self and that even gets tough sometimes.
Sigh.
Well I don't have to worry about this for at least 7 more months. In June I have Ragnar and a half marathon I pinky promised to do again. This statement will not prevent me from worrying from time to time. Anyway, we'll see what happens after that. Someday, when I do join the preggers crowd I'm sure I write a blog where I totally freak out. I have a feeling there will be a lot of nights where I will be sobbing uncontrollably and my husband will think I've lost a limb and I'll just be like "I can't do this, can we go backsies on this?" and there will probably be other times when I'm like the energizer bunny hopping around like, "I'm gunna be a mom, oh yea, you know it, I've got the belly to show it!" It's going to be crazy. I'm sure my blog posts will be just as bi-polaresque.
Did you have fears about being a mom when pregnant, or fears facing someday having kids?
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Somedays it is Great to be an Aunt
Today was one of those days.
I was having a bit of a rough day. I listen to the Glenn Beck show in the morning sometimes and this morning he had radio/TV sound clips and people calling in talking about what was happening the day the World Trade Center and Pentagon were attacked 12 years ago. I was driving to work and I started crying, not a good idea since it was already raining. I couldn't help it though. That was a huge day in America, a day I will remember always.
Next up, getting a talking to, via email, at work. Not my fav, not everything in it was exactly my fault but I'm not going to play the blame game over it.
Finally, a month and a few days ago I lost my grandpa. It was unexpected and hard to handle. I've been doing okay most days, today wasn't one of those days. I'm not sure what triggered it all but I felt down in the dumps most of the day.
I didn't make it to the gym like I planned, I got off work later than usual in order to finish somethings that needed to be finished. I know it sounds funny but I didn't have a pony tail holder ANYWHERE and I wore my hair down so that was my last straw/sign that no gym today.
I moped through the grocery store and finally made it home. I started making dinner, on the menu? Homemade Cream of Tomato Soup with grilled cheese sandwiches. On days when my nephew and niece come over I try to plan kid friendly menu items, thus the grilled cheese. The weather said it was suppose to be a rainy day and my mom needed to get rid of some older canned tomatoes so tomato soup was added to create on of my fav dinners.
I didn't expect the kids to eat the soup, I was never a soup fan when I was little. My nephew tends to be the child that asks, "how many more bites?" as soon as his bum hits the chair at the dinner table. I knew he would be content with the grilled cheese when I mentioned soup he twisted his face in slight disgust. I told him he had to try at least a little bit. I spooned out about 1/4 of a ladle into his bowl. Once the soup cooled, he scooped some up and into his mouth it went. He smiled with delight, "MMM this is so good!" I told him that I liked to dip my grilled cheese into my soup. He tried it and loved it. He didn't ask once how many bites he had to eat and he ate most of his meal (also rare without a fight). He said it was the best soup he had ever had and asked Grammy if he could have it for every meal.
My niece is a character. Love her to pieces, she listened really well today, and she didn't scream/screech once (she is almost 2 and is starting the terrible two's). I sort of had a conversation with her. She asked, "trwevo?" (which is my hubby to her) I said, "Trevor is at school." she nods her said and repeats school. A pause, then, "bike?" I say, "his bike? No he didn't take his bike, he took his truck today." She repeats truck.
Probably my favorite thing about being an aunt today was when my niece and nephew were having races and at one point I was the goal. When they almost reached me, I took off running around the kitchen table. They were laughing and running and laughing some more. I love those little kids they made my rough day end up not so bad after all.
Being an aunt is great.
I was having a bit of a rough day. I listen to the Glenn Beck show in the morning sometimes and this morning he had radio/TV sound clips and people calling in talking about what was happening the day the World Trade Center and Pentagon were attacked 12 years ago. I was driving to work and I started crying, not a good idea since it was already raining. I couldn't help it though. That was a huge day in America, a day I will remember always.
Next up, getting a talking to, via email, at work. Not my fav, not everything in it was exactly my fault but I'm not going to play the blame game over it.
Finally, a month and a few days ago I lost my grandpa. It was unexpected and hard to handle. I've been doing okay most days, today wasn't one of those days. I'm not sure what triggered it all but I felt down in the dumps most of the day.
I didn't make it to the gym like I planned, I got off work later than usual in order to finish somethings that needed to be finished. I know it sounds funny but I didn't have a pony tail holder ANYWHERE and I wore my hair down so that was my last straw/sign that no gym today.
I moped through the grocery store and finally made it home. I started making dinner, on the menu? Homemade Cream of Tomato Soup with grilled cheese sandwiches. On days when my nephew and niece come over I try to plan kid friendly menu items, thus the grilled cheese. The weather said it was suppose to be a rainy day and my mom needed to get rid of some older canned tomatoes so tomato soup was added to create on of my fav dinners.
I didn't expect the kids to eat the soup, I was never a soup fan when I was little. My nephew tends to be the child that asks, "how many more bites?" as soon as his bum hits the chair at the dinner table. I knew he would be content with the grilled cheese when I mentioned soup he twisted his face in slight disgust. I told him he had to try at least a little bit. I spooned out about 1/4 of a ladle into his bowl. Once the soup cooled, he scooped some up and into his mouth it went. He smiled with delight, "MMM this is so good!" I told him that I liked to dip my grilled cheese into my soup. He tried it and loved it. He didn't ask once how many bites he had to eat and he ate most of his meal (also rare without a fight). He said it was the best soup he had ever had and asked Grammy if he could have it for every meal.
My niece is a character. Love her to pieces, she listened really well today, and she didn't scream/screech once (she is almost 2 and is starting the terrible two's). I sort of had a conversation with her. She asked, "trwevo?" (which is my hubby to her) I said, "Trevor is at school." she nods her said and repeats school. A pause, then, "bike?" I say, "his bike? No he didn't take his bike, he took his truck today." She repeats truck.
Probably my favorite thing about being an aunt today was when my niece and nephew were having races and at one point I was the goal. When they almost reached me, I took off running around the kitchen table. They were laughing and running and laughing some more. I love those little kids they made my rough day end up not so bad after all.
Being an aunt is great.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
The Big Two Six
Yesterday I turned 26. The night before I couldn't sleep... well I slept but not very well. I am now confirming that my subconscious knew how awesome my birthday was going to be. It's been a while since I've been this excited about my b-day.
Awesome things about my birthday
• My hubby let me have the bathroom first. I don't think he actually planned it that way, he just decided to ride the recumbent bike first rather than his usual routine. BUT it was nice whether he planned it or not.
• It was Friday! Usually a pretty good day of the week.
• My co-workers took me to Tucano's for lunch. It started as only a handful of us then next thing we knew the WHOLE office was going. Phones "shut-down" (since no one would be there to answer them). It was kind of cool.
• At Tucano's ate my weight in delicious meat. Oh and I had to dance with a tambourine while the waiters sang Happy Birthday in Portuguese.
• My manager paid for my lunch. Which was very nice of him.
• When we made it back to the office there had been a power surge so we had no Internet, no servers, and no phones. We basically just had a party where anyone did what they wanted since none of us could do our jobs without access to the server. We danced, took pictures, named our cubicle islands.
• One of my co-workers made Death by Oreo Cupcakes for my birthday. They were DELICIOUS
Awesome things about my birthday
• My hubby let me have the bathroom first. I don't think he actually planned it that way, he just decided to ride the recumbent bike first rather than his usual routine. BUT it was nice whether he planned it or not.
• It was Friday! Usually a pretty good day of the week.
• My co-workers took me to Tucano's for lunch. It started as only a handful of us then next thing we knew the WHOLE office was going. Phones "shut-down" (since no one would be there to answer them). It was kind of cool.
• At Tucano's ate my weight in delicious meat. Oh and I had to dance with a tambourine while the waiters sang Happy Birthday in Portuguese.
• My manager paid for my lunch. Which was very nice of him.
• When we made it back to the office there had been a power surge so we had no Internet, no servers, and no phones. We basically just had a party where anyone did what they wanted since none of us could do our jobs without access to the server. We danced, took pictures, named our cubicle islands.
• One of my co-workers made Death by Oreo Cupcakes for my birthday. They were DELICIOUS
• For my birthday dinner the family went to Buffalo Wild Wings. It was pretty good!
• And finally, it RAINED! I love the rain, it was a great birthday gift for sure.
All around I would have to say that turning 26 was one of the best birthdays EVER!
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Oo-Rah!
It has been 11 days since my Grandpa John passed away. Some days I forget, but the flowers decorating my mom's kitchen table and living room remind me that it will be a long time before I see him again.
On the day of his funeral I had this song stuck in my head and felt, although from a children's movie, it expressed how I felt almost perfectly.
The day after his passing I woke up and thought, "this is the first day that I no longer have a grandpa."
No one to call me Lil Anna, regardless of how old I got, the way that only Grandpa John could. I guess with his 6 foot+ height I would always been smaller than him. He was a great man that always worked hard, and knew how to fix pretty much everything. I feel like the poem below, written by my uncle, says a lot about the man my grandpa was. He raised his kids to work hard. I know my mom has passed that on to me.
A tribute to my Dad as written by my uncle Steve
The boots on the porch were heavy and beat.
As a small boy I'd put 'em on - they were huge on my feet.
The miles and jobs those boots went through.
The blood, the sweat and the freezing too.
Those boots drove buses, semi's and worked in steel plants
The tops never got burned 'cause they were under his pants.
Up mountains, through rivers, chasing buck, catching fish.
Family camping in campers that were road worthy-ish.
Without hesitation, those boots went overseas
To fight for the country and be a Marine.
Those boots carried a big, big man
With a heart of gold, sledge hammer body, with huge calloused hands.
The boots on the porch were heavy and beat
And now I look down and those boots are on me.
I am part of a great legacy. I feel like I have a lot to live up to. When I get to the other side I feel that my grandpa will be waiting for a report what I have done with his name and legacy he left to me. I hope to live my life ready to help those that need it with whatever skills I have, just like grandpa. Continue to gain new skills so that I can help my family and those around me. No matter how long and full my days may be, come home and spend meaningful time with my family, like grandpa. Do better at working hard and making sure I teach my children to do the same, like grandpa. And finally, make those around me feel like they matter to me, no matter who they are, just like grandpa did to every single person he ever met.
I will miss my Grandpa John and his big grin. At his funeral there were many nice things said and great stories told about him. The Marines were there, Taps was played, I cried for the fallen Marine who readily served his country and all those around him. Oo-rah Grandpa.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Nostalgic Food
My nostalgic food is probably going to kill me one day because none of mine are healthy.
Here are my nostalgic foods:
AbraCaBubble. I haven't been able to find these in years. Well I can purchase a 5lb. bag from the Brach's website but I don't really want that much. They are hard candy on the outside and inside is a piece of bubble gum. I would always get one from my grandma's house and try to have the bubble gum cracked out of its candy shell by the time that I arrived at my other grandma's house.
Puffy Cheetos. I don't know what it is about these that make me love them so much. Whenever I had lunch at my grandma's house I would get a half sandwich and a small pile of puffy Cheetos laid on a paper towel along with a side of Pepsi or Coke (I think that is the only liquid my grandparents had in their house besides water and maybe milk). You be thinking that Pepsi is my next nostalgic food but it's not. Once in a while I like a few sips and those few sips remind me of grandma's but then I'm done with the soda.
Do you have any nostalgic foods?
Here are my nostalgic foods:
Whoppers! I love the sound they make as they roll around in the box and the fun little crunch in the middle of every chocolate ball. I could probably eat a whole carton (like the one pictured above) all by myself in one day. A confession, I just finished off a movie theater sized box that I opened about an hour and a half ago. Love these things.
Do you have any nostalgic foods?
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Cubicle Pressure
About 2 months ago my work moved to a new building. I have a new Ikea "cubicle" (more like an Ikea desk with 24" partitions covered in cloth... not like any cubicle I have ever had). When I got hired I was told that the company would be moving. Therefore, I never decorated my desk. I never thought about it simply because I didn't want to take everything down and then put all back up. Well, 6 months later we finally moved. Now that we have moved I know I need to decorate my desk. However, I have been putting it off and putting it off. Why? Why would someone want to look at a speckled black, empty wall? Well I feel like there is a lot of pressure to have freakin' sweet looking decor for my cubicle. Why the pressure? Because I am a graphic designer, I can't have crappy looking stuff at my desk. That might reflect on the way that people view me as a designer. In addition to the pressure I feel that there is a lack of time. While I am at work there isn't much that I can do about it. I can't flip through pictures on my computer to find ones I want to print out. None of my pictures are on my work laptop. Once I am home...it is out of sight, out of mind. Really the story of my life. I'll get to work the next day and think, "BLAST! I should have thrown some things together. Ah MAN!"
I have hit a bit of a slow time at work so I finally looked through some pictures for ideas and organization ideas via Pinterest (cause that's basically the new Google for DIY, craftiness). I've found a cubicle idea that I like and I'm going with it. I just need to find a piece of paper that is the size of my wall and doodle up a cool drawing.
Well when I get around to getting it all put together I will take a pic and show you what my little brain and hands came up with. Don't hold your breath, it may take me a while because I have to brush up on my drawing skills.
Has anyone else experienced cubicle decor pressure?
I have hit a bit of a slow time at work so I finally looked through some pictures for ideas and organization ideas via Pinterest (cause that's basically the new Google for DIY, craftiness). I've found a cubicle idea that I like and I'm going with it. I just need to find a piece of paper that is the size of my wall and doodle up a cool drawing.
Has anyone else experienced cubicle decor pressure?
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Part of my World
I am a graphic designer, for those that don't know. Today while on some graphic design adventures on the web, I found this awesome history of printing, basically. If all history lessons were designed like this one I probably would have paid more attention. Maybe even science and math would have been more interesting to me.
Click image to open interactive version (via Printer Inks).
And if you are a big traveller take a look at this
Click image to open interactive version (via Printer Inks).
And if you are a big traveller take a look at this
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